Wednesday, July 02, 2014

10 interesting (sometimes surprising) facts about pregnancy and labour









 a beautiful magnolia bud starting to bloom 

I don't think I'll ever tire of teaching yoga to pregnant women; strange considering that I tell the same stories and share the same information over and over and over again. It's quite an honour to guide a woman through her pregnancy, to encourage confidence and trust in the face of the unknown.

Many of my students are first-time mums and as we sit together in the first class of each six-week block I introduce myself and talk a little bit about what they can expect from the practice: asana, breathing techniques, relaxation and the truth - honest, no-frills information about pregnancy, labour, birth and the newborn phase. 

Over the years there has been a few things that genuinely surprise (sometimes shock) first-time mums. Information that seems so normal to me is often met with a look of disbelief by my students and they often remark: "I had no idea!".

Here's 10 things that may surprise you about pregnancy and labour:


you can prepare for birth but you can't control it : we control many aspects of our lives and yet when it comes to conception, pregnancy and labour there's a lot that is out of our hands. Many of my students admit to being control freaks (especially if they have careers in the corporate world) so I always encourage them to really work at letting go of it...even if their birth does go to "plan" I assure them that motherhood is beyond control - completely. beyond. control. 

think: acceptance, acceptance, acceptance : it doesn't matter how fit you are, how tall you are, how wide your hips are, how many times you have visualised your birth, how many children you've had and how precise your birth plan is....when it comes down to it you don't know how or where you'll give birth and hence the best thing you can do is embrace acceptance. With this in mind I encourage my students to create a birth intention in lieu of a birth plan; you can take an intention with you regardless of how surprising your labour and birth may be. 

an empowering birth can happen at home, in the car, in a hospital birthing suite or in theatre : put simply, if you take responsibility for your birth by preparing for it and owning your decisions, the experience can be an empowering one. And if you don't care for an empowering birth well....own that too. I always say: "It's not your midwife's birth, it's not your OB's birth, it's your birth," - take responsibility, get informed (and encourage your partner to do the same), chat honestly and openly to your caregiver and if in doubt ask: what is the medical reason for your decision? 

there's a neuro-muscular connection between your mouth/cervix, jaw/pelvic floor, throat/birth canal : which, in lay terms means that if you soften and relax your jaw your pelvic floor will soften and relax, too. One of the most common phrases I use in my classes is: soften your lips, relax your jaw (I hope to ingrain in it my students' minds so they'll instinctively do it in their labours). When we're scared, stressed or anxious we naturally hold a lot of tension in our jaw and throat (and even down to our shoulders) so keeping this area relaxed during labour is essential for dilation and delivery. At the end of pregnancy when the weight of baby is profound you can really experience the jaw/pelvis connection by lifting your chin (you should feel baby lift) and then lowering your chin (you should feel baby's weight fall into your pelvis). With this in mind.....if you're on the way to the hospital and baby is coming fast you would lift your chin and breathe up and if you're ready to birth baby you would tuck your chin towards your neck and breathe down. 

sound is the most powerful technique you can use in your birth : forget the Hollywood scream, think primal moans and groans akin to a cow or a lion. How on earth does that work in labour? Well, it helps keep your mouth/jaw/throat open and relaxed as mentioned previously, it lengthens the exhalation (the relaxing breath) and the vibration of the sound helps to soothe the nervous system. This technique is also incredibly helpful in a cesarean birth to help you stay still (for the spinal block) and relaxed during the operation.

you will feel a contraction from the soles of your feet to the crown of your head : when I ask my students where they think they'll feel a contraction most of them point to their lower abdomen so they're genuinely shocked when I tell them that the core of the contraction may be there but the pain/pressure radiates throughout the whole body. The core of the contraction will eventually shift from the abdomen to the lower back and eventually to the buttocks/pelvis as labour progresses. During transition the pressure is intense; like pummelling thunder. 

when it's time to push it will feel like your baby is coming out of your bum : yes, it really does feel like that but I promise, it won't! It's why so many women tell their midwife that they need to go to the toilet when, in actually fact, it's the baby ready to descend into the birth canal. 

your partner can catch your baby : in fact, many Australian hospitals and birth centres encourage it. Daniel caught both our babies and I'm really grateful that he had the honour of being the first person to touch them. For your partner, having the responsibility of catching baby is incredibly empowering. However, some women can't stand the thought of their partner being "down there" and that's perfectly fine, too. 

you will still have contractions after you have birthed your baby and the placenta : it's true and yes, they are painful. Once the placenta is delivered your uterus needs to contract back to the size of your fist (the size it originally was before you conceived baby) so over the days following birth you'll experience contractions at sporadic times throughout the day and night but especially when you're breastfeeding (not entirely convenient). Unfortunately the after-pains get more intense with each baby (I was completely and utterly shocked by the intensity of them after Poet's birth). 

it can take 6-8 weeks to establish a breastfeeding rhythm : patience is key here, as is perseverance. For the first few days after birth your breasts will produce colostrum for your baby (the most nutrient rich food it will ever have) and on day three you'll cry rivers (just go ahead and sob, it will feel good), your milk will come in and your breasts will be huge, hard and really lumpy. The first few weeks of breastfeeding are painful and a little bit uncoordinated as you try and find a position that suits you and baby. Basically, your breasts will be sucked like they've never been sucked before, your nipples may crack and bleed and you may spray milk all over the baby and yourself. I encourage my students to make sure they're not holding any tension in their upper body before they attach baby (a baby won't attach to a stressed mama) and practise some sound techniques when/if feeding is painful. If you have visitors you might want to go into your bedroom, take off your top and then start feeding - it is so much easier to feed when you don't have people distracting baby, when there's no clothes in the way and when you can completely relax. One of the reasons I stayed at home for the first few weeks after birth was to establish a good breastfeeding routine; I didn't have to deal with going out so I could easily feed on demand in the comfort of my home (with my shirt off, if need be) and hence when the 4-6 week mark came around I felt confident feeding whilst out and about.

I've written a guide for dad's too : 10 Labour Tips for Dads

Tell me, what surprised you most about labour, birth and breastfeeding? 


20 COMMENTS

  1. The most surprising thing for me was just how much breastfeeding hurt! With my first I was told he was latching perfectly by two different lactation consultants, a speech therapist and numerous midwives, yet the pain was indescribable!! Never had i imagined the sheer force behind a little baby's suck. Thankfully the pain eased after a few weeks and wasn't nearly as bad with my second baby. A great post Jodi x

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    1. I think what surprised me most about feeding for the second-time was that I still fumbled and felt like I was right back at the beginning! It wasn't nearly as painful but it still took a good few weeks to establish a routine. Thinking of you - you must be counting down x

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  2. Great, realistic post Jodi...as always. The thing I found most surprising with my first born was the constant feeding. I breastfed, but regardless of that I has no idea how constant it would be. Perhaps I should have realized, but I just assumed I would fed every so often, the baby would be happy and life would roll on. I had a good breastfeeding experience but in hindsight, I really had no idea what to expect x

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    1. When I had Poet I actually forgot how much newborn's feed...how often and how long! I remember sitting in a chair for three hours one morning thinking I would never off it! x

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  4. And that you can catch your own baby :)
    Good advice here especially about not being in control! x

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  5. I think this is a great post, thank you, Jodi. As a long-term reader I never commented here, so this is my first time but I'd love to share my experience in this subject.

    I think what surprised me most when our son was born 9 months ago was, that breastfeeding isn't a "naturally given ability", but that mother and baby both have to learn it. As you write, patience is the key here. Before the birth I visited a birth class, read a lot about birth but somehow forgot to get more information on breastfeeding. One reason was that I felt very secure and trusted my body to know what to do. The other reason was that I relied too much on the midwifes from the birthplace we planned to have our birth, which are very encouraging. Instead, the birth took place at the hospital, and there was a lack of support for breastfeeding. Fortunately, we could change to the birthplace the next day and everything went fine. But retrospective I think I was very naive and it would have been better if I had learned before what I need to do when I want my baby to latch on right after birth. In case the birth takes place at the theatre, it's also better to know what to do!

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  6. Nice tips, you are bringing me back to the 40 degree day this super pregnant mum did the calm birthing course. The births however, are a total blur to me. I so wish I got a photographer!

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  7. I am preagnant for the second time, your advises are great! Thanks for sharing!

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  8. What surprised me most about labour is how strong I really am. The pain is intense, overwhelming & all consuming. When I had my first baby I thought I'd be yelling & screaming & take all the drugs. I didn't do any of those things. Instead I was focused, in the moment & only asked for gas. I was also surprised that you have to push more out your bum. I really couldn't get my head around that first time around.

    And with Breastfeeding I was shocked & a bit upset it didn't come naturally to me. It was a real struggle & it's only been now, with my 4th baby, that I can say it's been pain & hassle free from the get go. I can't say I feel completely comfortable out in public, I still fumble & feel a bit awkward, but it comes more naturally than it has with my other babies.

    And can I just add that I think breathing is key! My mum, who has birthed 7 babies, told me to breath in to the count of four & then breathe out to the count of four. Her advice stuck with me & during each birth that's how I breathed. I'm not sure what it done for my body but it helped me focus on something other than the pain.

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  9. Delivery was the most surprising. The shift in breathing and muscle action left me foundering for a bit. I'm pleased to hear you are warning your yoga students. I'm sure someone told me but I was not mentally prepared. And yes! It does feel like baby is coming out your bottom. I think this is important so we know how to push properly. :)

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  10. I wish someone had told me about it feeling like the baby is coming out your bum. I was surprised and caught off guard with that one when I had my first. Since then, I have always passed that bit of information on to my friends. Also, I caught my second baby. It was an exhilarating experience. I thought if I have another, I would like to do that again, but it sounds amazing to let my hubby have a chance to catch our baby.

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  11. A great read. And it just reminded me how powerful it felt to use noise during my youngest son's labour. I never intended to and I know I will never ever make those sounds again in my entire life but literally I used groans to birth a near 11lb baby, in an hour and a half, without any pain relief. But the funny thing was, I never got to that panic point with the pain, the whole time I felt a sense of control because every time I felt a contraction I could match the pain with my noise. And with every noise I actually felt the baby moving further down, like a coffee plunger. The whole experience was incredibly powerful and wonderful.

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    1. Yes! This was my exact experience with Poet....matching the intensity of each contraction with deep, guttural moans - essentially riding each contraction with sound. And the plunger feeling - yes! I distinctly remember feeling Poet drop into the birth canal from the womb x

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  12. Oh thanks! the most surprising for my third child was that she (in my belly) decided to breake the waters (do you use this words in English?) when I was on a nap... and decided to arrive straight away in a calm but energic way. Those contractions were so efficient and totally different from my two first labours. And she arrived, her daddy did catch her, because alos she did not give time to anybody else to come (not even a midwife... it was challenging but just magical. I won't say to anybody to do it like that but we had the best birth we could imagine. And surprisingly I had no contractions after placenta was out. Absolutely none...

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  13. Excellent advice and great tips, Jodi. I'm currently 7 months pregnant and have been a little overwhelmed by the amount of (sometimes conflicting) information about pregnancy, labor, and birth. I'm trusting my body entirely, and wrapping my mind around the idea of accepting fate, and letting go. Easier said than done, but my mantra for labor and delivery is simply to: try my very best. xx

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    1. Camille, I'm so glad you found some comfort and reassurance in my article. Just something to consider, which you are more than welcome to completely ignore, if you like: I never use the words "do" or "try" in my classes because I don't believe that you can "do" labour. Instead, I encourage my students to just "be" in it, because it's going to happen regardless of how much you "try". So perhaps your mantra could be: "be my very best" - happy to hear what you think and then discuss!

      PS. When I "tried" to labour with my first I was at 3cm for 31 hours. When I eventually let go and allowed myself to "be" I dilated from 3-10cm in 45minutes x

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    2. Jodi,

      Another bit of awesome advice, thank you! Yes, I do see how using the word, "try" could put myself in a tricky predicament. What if I "try", and feel like I've failed midway through? What if I "try" and don't want to "try" anymore and opt for medical interventions? Word choice is definitely something to ponder when thinking about my task ahead (especially because I plan on scribbling my mantra on my hand so I can revisit it when needed.)

      Revising my mantra to: "be my very best" reminds me of how the word "be" is active and ongoing, versus "try" somehow suggests that whatever is at hand can be stopped at any moment. I like "be" better, so thank you for that.

      And wow, re: your PS! 3-10cm in 45 minutes is an excellent way to "be". Thank you for the encouragement!

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  14. this is such a beautiful post. i have been teaching pregnancy yoga for the past 11 years since i was pregnant with my first child. i love your list. i will definitely share with my students! xoxo

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  15. That's wonderful advice just to be. I'm expecting my second child in about a month and have a done a bit more reading than last time in preparation for the birth. (Though I was thrilled with how it went last time - exhausting and long but wonderful all the same.) Just being present is actually the most helpful and sensible advice I can think of - and what I did last time anyway - it's really comforting to be reminded of it. The idea of being able to 'control' it seems a little far fetched.

    I have a friend who is finishing a book at the moment (it's based on her phd, so she's been working on it for nearly 10 years). She said the other day - argh it's like birthing a child. And a lot of people say that and maybe there are points of comparison but I told her - having written a phd and birthed a baby - no, really it's not. Pregnancy and birth happens to you and through you whether you like it or not (once they get started). A book you have to consciously work at and decide to finish...

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