Thursday, June 16, 2016
why are extra-curricular activities so challenging?
Percy is eating from his Mess Kit, kindly sent from long-time blog reader, Emma
This post started with a phone call to Bron, my editor over at Mumtastic. We were chatting about stories and deadlines and before we knew it we were down the rabbit hole of the motherhood/work juggle, lamenting the sheer absurdity that is a normal day in our lives. Wow, we do a lot but what on earth can we let go of to make it a bit less rushed?
A few hours later Bron published this post which had many, many women nodding their heads, offering words of solidarity, admitting to their very own overwhelm and anxiety. And as she described her children's extra-curricular activities I had a bit of a lightbulb moment of my own (thanks for that, Bron).
You see, the driving around of an afternoon to various activities is one of the most challenging parts of parenthood for me. And what's most alarming about this scenario is that I keep things on the activity front to an absolute minimum. Che does drama, Poet does dancing and they both do a swimming lesson - spread out over three afternoons in the middle of the week. I also have lots of help from the grandparents so in no way am I doing it all alone.
For a while there I was questioning why it was so difficult and then yesterday, I realised - it's so much more than the activity. One single afternoon activity requires the following: afternoon tea prep, a spare change of clothes/costume, school pick-up, driving to the activity, waiting in the car (sometimes wrangling Percy), driving home, delayed witching hour, late dinner, chaotic bath/bed time. The 1-hour activity takes, on average, over three hours from start to finish.
Perhaps I'm still a novice and things will get easier but I can't help but think of years to come when the kids' social lives get busier and I inevitably take on the role of taxi-mum. If I'm completely honest, it doesn't look that appealing.
Just this afternoon I was chatting to a friend at school pick-up and he said he always questions the sustainability of an activity when he finds it challenging. As in: is this sustainable for the whole family? How can we make this work for everyone's wellbeing? Are we in this for the long haul or will we crumble under the pressure? These are such good questions to continually ask ourselves as parents.
As our children grow and start engaging in various social and extra-curricular activities, we must adapt to the changes, find new ways of doing things and reassess if it's all too hard. One thing I definitely know is that come next year, when Poet starts school, I'll say no to all activities for that first term. Because if I remember anything from Che's first term at school it's this: school is enough - there is no space for anything else.
Do you find this part of parenthood challenging or is it just me?
Labels: parenting , the school series
Tuesday, November 03, 2015
1. Buddhism for Mothers of Schoolchildren* : I consider this mandatory reading if you're about to send your child off to school. Gift it to yourself (or add it to your wish list) and set aside some time over the New Year to prepare yourself (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) for the imminent transition / 2. a pirate bucket hat with toggles / 3. ...or a floral alternative / 4. I swear by lunchbots lunchboxes* - stainless steel, good-sized compartments for little hands, good as new after two years of daily use. Consider them an investment / 5. a lunchbots round container*, these are great for mini fruit salads or carrots with hummus / 6 + 7. organic cotton singlet or cami to keep the core warm / 8 + 9 quality boxers + undies made from organic cotton (best purchased after the toilet training + accident prone years / 10. My friend Emma aka Hazyjane* has the most beautiful collection of vintage fabrics and as well as making sweet pants (with pockets!) and bloomers, she often takes orders for personalised bags. Poet takes hers to Montessori and when she starts school it will be the perfect library bag. Such a sweet (and very special) handmade gift / 11. a waterproof pencil case* that makes the perfect pouch for stationery, swimmers, sunscreen etc / 12. a personalised bag tag / 13. stainless steel drink bottle -the klean kanteen range* is great and we also like the thermos funtainer with straw* (replacement straws can be purchased separately) / 14. a spork* is essential if you're going to pack pasta, rice or salad for lunch / 15. the thermos funtainer keeps food warm for 5 hours and cool for 7 ... I send them to school with the kids at least twice a week / 16. Starting School* is one of my very favourite books on the topic but then again, I love anything that Jane Godwin and Anna Walker* create / 17. Our set of Lyra Pencils* live in a jug on the dining table and get used every day. We love them! / 18. If you like the idea of one lunchbox with multiple compartments that can be prettied up with stickers....planetbox* is for you / 19. If you're sending your child off to school you really do need to label, label, label. Buy one set of these stickers and you'll have enough for a good 3 years. Iron-on labels are a good idea, too.
*if you purchase via affiliate links I receive a small commission.
Labels: gift guide , the school series
Monday, July 13, 2015
In celebration of Plastic Free July and with a new school term upon us, I thought it best to share how I do lunches around these parts. I aim for healthy, fresh and colourful with a little homemade treat every now and then (nothing too fancy) and stainless steel packaging - always.
I first purchased these lunchbots stainless steel containers when Che started school and I haven't looked back. We have two unos (for sandwiches), a trio (for Che) and a quad (for Poet) and I fill them to the brim with whatever I can rustle up. I find that cutting up fruit and vegies into bite-sized portions ensures they're eaten - without fail. My children love snacks (they're grazers, that's for sure) so their snack boxes usually come home empty.
Sandwiches are a a different matter altogether which I wholeheartedly understand...we can all get a little tired of the humble sandwich, can't we? My solution? - a thermos! I was recently gifted two Thermos containers and have used them every day since. The perfect size for a school bag, these little gems keep food warm for five hours and cool for seven so they're perfect no matter the season. I've been reheating my tuna + herb pasta, spaghetti bolognaise, fried rice and pumpkin soup to ensure little tummies are tempted come lunchtime (I pack a bamboo spork and a napkin, too). Granted, a warm lunch doesn't always eventuate but as far as I'm concerned a honey, banana or vegemite sandwich is not to be frowned upon.
As for snacks, fruit and vegies are a staple, brown rice crackers often make an appearance and banana bread or blueberry yogurt cake is always popular. Sometimes there's dates, a boiled egg, popcorn, corn chips, cheese, leftover pizza, half an avocado, hummus, bliss balls or muesli slice. And when I need new inspiration? - I head straight to Lunch Lady.
What are your go-to ingredients for lunch boxes? Feel free to share recipes and/or links.
ps. in case you're interested, Poet's personalised bag is from hazyjane and the name stickers are from stuck on you.
More from The School Series
Labels: simple food , the school series
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
5 ways to simplify the school week
spontaneous beach days will have to wait for the weekends
I would like to tell you that our first morning back at school was smooth, calm and hurried-free. But that would be a lie. This morning was one of those mornings; best to let go of it and drink coffee in the sun, instead.
The unpredictabilities of children are frustrating and fascinating and, well, normal. Che is a dreamer and isn't particularly interested in organisation so I've really had to work on our school morning routine. Yesterday, before I left for yoga, I wrote down a list of chores with him over breakfast. Simple numbered sentences that he could read and follow, at his own pace. This boy of mine, he does everything in his own time and hurrying him often has an adverse affect. But he's also at an age where he has responsibilities - and that includes getting to school on time. Lucky we both share a love of list making!
Let it be known that a simplified school week is still, at times, frenzied and tiring. Don't set your hopes too high! Here's five things that have made a difference to my experience as a school mum; simple tips that make things a little easier and smoother, even on the overwhelming days.
1. it's Sunday evening - a little organisation goes a long way : perhaps it's uncalled for to clean on Sundays but for me it ensures a fresh start to the school week. I spend about an hour on Sunday afternoons doing a quick, don't-get-distracted clean. I start with a cup of tea in hand and go from room to room, often losing said tea in the process. School uniforms are readied, miscellany is put back in its rightful place, surfaces are cleared of clutter. Basically, I make space for the new week, and feel a little more prepared as a result.
2. create a list with your child and run through it a few times : school morning prep is much the same, every day. But that doesn't mean it's easy for your child to remember; especially if their current book is enthralling ("Just one more page, mum?"). I have really embraced the notion of handing over responsibility in the past few months, hence Che's Sunday/school morning prep list (it's stuck on his bedroom wall for easy reference). It includes:
- find school hat and put it in school bag
- find library books, put them in library bag, hang bag on hooks
- polish school shoes and put them next to school bag
- put reading folder in school bag
- get dressed, socks included
- brush teeth
3. get baking/cooking - there's always fruit and vegies in the house but I have to be disciplined in regards to baking. I usually bake school treats on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning. I used to procrastinate about baking and tell myself I didn't have enough time but if I apply my don't-get-distracted method it doesn't take much time at all - really! You have a spare 10 minutes to make Anzac biscuits, I know you do. Bill's Banana Bread is another option (it makes two loaves and stays nice and moist for a good five days). On Thursday nights we have pizza so I can pack a slice or two for lunch on Fridays (we have these lunch boxes which I highly recommend).
4. go to bed at a reasonable time and get up early - there is a certain amount of discipline required for a simplified school week and that includes a strict bedtime and setting the alarm in the morning (unless you have the baby/toddler equivalent). Sometimes it doesn't always work but on school nights I'm in bed by 10pm and up the next morning by 6:30 - a rested mum is more likely to be happy and patient on school mornings. My morning routine is always the same: shower - dressed - tea - breakfast prep - lunch making - encouragement of Che getting ready (and putting the book down!) - breakfast together - Poet dressed - off to school. I try my best to stay off my phone and laptop before school; they are, after-all, the biggest distractions.
5. make an early dinner - I love early dinners, I love early bedtimes even more. Now that it's dark at 5pm my 5:30-6 dinner is all the more justified. I keep dinner pretty simple on school nights; I aim to meal plan on the weekend and if all else fails, I make eggs on toast. Before Che settles into bed I make sure he's got everything organised for the next day...a few minutes in the evening saves a lot of stress in the morning.
Feel free to share your tips for a simple school week...
Labels: the school series
Thursday, January 23, 2014
the school series : a guide for mums
Che's first year of school was also my hardest year of motherhood to date. I don't say that to scare you, merely to be honest about how significant the change was for me. If you are anything like me, you will spend all your time and energy preparing your child for school without much consideration for your own experience or wellbeing. You'll ride the anticipation and novelty of the first few weeks with enthusiasm but before long you'll realise, the role of "school mum" is both demanding and exhausting.
It took me the better part of the year to find my feet, to navigate the new 5-day-a-week routine and to let go of a few of my parenting ideals. In retrospect it was an enormous learning curve and regardless of my struggles I now feel confident and positive in my role. As we prepare to embark on the new school year (grade 1 for us) I thought it best to share a few lessons I learned through kindergarten. I hope they help!
Realise that school is a new kind of normal - perhaps the hardest part about sending my first-born off to school was accepting that it was now the norm - for the next 15 years (or more!) of my life. The spontaneity of the toddler and pre-school years were behind us and our days were officially dictated by the bell. For a few months there I really grieved the loss of our carefree days and I wondered: "Why didn't anyone warn me about this?" I always heard stories about all the free time school offered mums but the reality was/is the complete opposite - I found I had less time. Recognise that it's a new stage of parenthood that takes some adjusting; you will feel like you're in a state of flux for a good few months. Feeling sad and wistful is ok - it will eventually lead to contentment as you embrace your new role and this new stage.
Learn to accept that school is the catalyst for a whole range of emotions - put simply, your child tries so hard to be good at school and when they get home they just let loose. This was particularly true for the first few months of school (and the last few weeks of every term). I learned to expect tears, tantrums, whinging, moaning and even a little bit of anger. It all stemmed from exhaustion - physical and emotional. The best way for me to deal with it was to be incredibly gentle, have little or nothing planned for our afternoons, give him a wholesome afternoon tea and serve dinner early.
Don't plan extra-curricular activities for the first six months of school - this is a completely personal choice but let me tell you, I was so relieved I had made this decision at the beginning of the year. It's not for everyone but it definitely served us well. It was a lovely feeling knowing that 'school' was the only thing we had on our kindergarten schedule.
Cancel homework (sometimes) - I was quite shocked to learn that homework was part of the kindergarten curriculum. Half-way through the first term Che came home with a reader, some writing and some sight words. I felt really conflicted about it at the time and questioned whether it was necessary. Most afternoons we got through it without much drama but on the days when exhaustion was overwhelming, Poet was needing my attention and it just seemed like too much, I cancelled it! However, every night we always encourage Che to read before bed. Nurturing a love of reading is far more important to us than memorising sight words.
Organise a school drawer - encouraging your child to get dressed in the morning (without your constant supervision) is one way to ease the stress of getting to school on time. I quickly realised that having school shirts in one drawer and shorts in another was not ideal (and frankly, it wasn't working for my dreamer of a child). So, the bottom drawer in the wardrobe quickly became the "school uniform" drawer and everything was placed in it - shirts, shorts, underpants, singlets, socks and jumper. His hat lives on the hooks in his room and his school shoes by the door.
Get up 30minutes (or more, if you can) before the children - this is a tough one if you've got a baby but I quickly learned that it was the best way for me to deal with school mornings. If I could be showered, dressed and have a cup of tea in hand by the time the kids woke up I felt like I was well on my way to having a relatively calm morning. On the days when we were running late I literally had to stop myself and repeat: "Running late to kindergarten is not the end of the world and it's definitely not worth the yelling and screaming." When you become a school mum it's really easy to become a shouty mum - we've all done it, we'll all do it, we can all decide that there's a better way to go about the mornings. A big part of getting up early is going to bed early - a strict bedtime ritual is essential for school mums!
Be sure of your parenting values and expect them to be challenged - a tough one, particularly in regards to computers and junk food. I was quite taken aback by the general complacency to junk food and sugar at school, especially considering that Che's school has a "healthy" canteen (and apparently it is healthy compared to other schools). I also came to realise that birthday cakes and lolly bags will make an appearance every week or two in the classroom and that by saying "No" the social implications are huge. So I did let go of a few of my ideals; he ate every single birthday cake that was shared in class and, if there was a lolly bag, he brought it home (to be put at the top of the pantry) - we agreed to that arrangement and as far as I know, he stuck by it. I fed him a good breakfast of porridge or eggs, packed healthy school lunches and never expected him to eat it all (kids are far too busy playing to be concerned with food). Computers are a huge part of school now and whilst I agree that they are a fabulous learning tool I don't think they need to be an everyday occurrence. When Che is on the computer he tenses up, he gets anxious and angry. We've set a limit to 2 x 30minute computer sessions a week - for us that's plenty (and yes, you will constantly hear: "But so-and-so get this and that and eats packet chips and gets a computer in his room!).
Volunteer at school but know that you don't need to do everything - reading groups, writing groups, maths groups, canteen, organising readers, craft afternoons, excursions and assemblies. If you wanted to you could be at school every single day of the week volunteering your time. My advice? Offer to help at one session a week and if you can't make it don't be too hard on yourself. You can't do everything and your child doesn't expect you to (well, maybe they do, but they'll soon learn that it's just not possible).
Embrace friendships with other school parents - this can be a tricky one if you're a little shy or nervous but rest assured, most school parents are in the same boat. Throughout kindergarten I formed the most beautiful friendships with women that I might not have met if it weren't for our children. It's reassuring to know that regardless of where I am, there will always be a warm, welcoming face waiting at the school gate for Che. Kindergarten mums are one of a kind; always eager for a chat, a complain and a coffee after school drop-off.
Good luck fellow school mums. It's a big step for everyone. Go gently.
Click here to read all my posts in The School Series.
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Tuesday, December 03, 2013
the school series : the younger sibling
Christmas stars found just outside the school art room
At drop-off and pick-up time, school playgrounds are full of younger siblings getting to know the swing of things.
When your first-born starts school the entire family starts school with them. Family life and the school routine merge and the pre-schoolers, toddlers and babies get carried along for the ride. Breakfast is often hurried, afternoon naps are interrupted and Peppa Pig is the replacement for mum's attention at homework time (a necessity and nothing to feel guilty about).
For our family, the start of school has been one of the biggest changes we've experienced. It really rocked me for the first few months; in retrospect I was grieving the loss of spontaneous days and having difficulty accepting the reality of a strict routine. Not one to gracefully embrace change, I was very reluctant to face the truth; school is now a significant part of our lives, for this year and (at least) the next twenty.
It was only yesterday, as Poet and I took Che to his classroom, that I thought about her experience this year. School life is such a novelty for her; it's exciting, loud and intriguing. She has adapted so well to routine - she's embraced the opportunity to sneak into the classroom (more times than I can count) and has enthusiastically participated in every activity that we've been invited to. She has her very own bank book for school banking day and she waits at the bottom of the stairs every afternoon to hug Che.
For a while I felt sorry for her; having to make the journey to and from school twice a day. But that was all my stuff - it never bothered her in the slightest. Whilst I don't want to get carried away I know that when it's her time to start school, she will be ready. Oh so ready.
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Come January I will be expanding on the school series; collating thoughts, advice and practical tips for those of you who are about to embark on the journey. If you have any questions I'm more than happy to answer them!
Tell me, do you have a child starting school next year? If so, how are you feeling? If you want a book to help ease the transition, I highly recommend "Starting School".
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
the school series : the amateur school mum
beach visits on a whim - the beauty of school holidays
The first six months of school have been a little like the first six months of motherhood. I've been the amateur, tentatively walking a new path, questioning my ability and my decisions. Whilst my days are not dictated by the cries of a newborn they are most definitely controlled, to an extent, by the school bell.
Documenting my experience as a school mum seems relevant to this space and so it's with all honesty that I say it's been harder than I anticipated. This brand new phase of parenthood has been a little confronting and it's definitely taking me time to adjust. Che is thriving - I'm so grateful for his enthusiasm and happiness. But me? Well, generally I've found it all a bit overwhelming.
When you become a school mum you automatically take on a whole new list of responsibilities - life gets significantly busier. We were a few weeks into the school year when I realised that this new level of busy was now my normal. It was then that I vowed to keep things simple; easy afternoons, no extra curricular activities, slow, spontaneous weekends. Even so, there's been a fair few weeks where I've wished for those pre-school days when we were a little freer.
When your first-born starts school you grieve the end of one journey as you attempt to embrace another. There's a period of transition that can be a little rocky; you step into a new role and place yet another hat on your head. It's only now, in retrospect, that I understand what the transition phase was all about. Amidst the strict routine of the school week I was establishing a rhythm so that I could, in my own way, feel grounded and settled in my new role.
I spent most of 2012 wondering how Che was going to cope with the changes - not once did I think it would be me with the issues. Parenthood is so humbling.
Read the whole story : the school series
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
the school series : painting a forest
There will probably be a stage in my near future where I regret such a statement but for now I'm quite happy to sing it from the rooftops. For the past few weeks we've relished in rhythm rather than routine, it's been a nice breather. Our days have been pretty spontaneous; slow mornings followed by beach visits, late lunches, and an afternoon movie or two. Che spent every second day playing with the kids next door; climbing trees, jumping on the trampoline, discovering an overgrown cubby down the back - the essential ingredients for a good childhood, I believe.
When he wasn't squealing from the garden or running through the trees, he was at the table requesting food or a paintbrush. We've been using picture books as inspiration for paintings (A Forest, in particular) and when paper gets boring we move onto the driveway, a box of chalk in hand.
Tomorrow morning it's back to school; the uniform is ready, I am not.
Our favourite art supplies include the most luscious Lyra pencils, vivid chalk from chalk chook and the entire Micador range; especially their watercolours and green eARTh products.
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Monday, March 04, 2013
the school series : routine's rhythm
For the first time in a very long time we have a strict five-day-a-week routine and it's taking us a while to adjust. Slowly, slowly we're getting there.
Routine is not a word that I've used in my mothering experience. I never adhered to the belief that babies need a routine and so I never established one. Instead I found comfort in rhythm; I found it in my breath, my body and my days - a constant, ever flowing, ever changing rhythm.
But there is no denying that the school week is routine based. The time frame is strict and there is little leniency. But you know what, I actually like it, and I'm learning that however demanding school is, it does provide some beautiful lessons, mostly for me and my rhythm.
I think as you move into a new stage of parenting it's only natural to reminisce on the previous years, to reflect on how they were navigated and explored. I distinctly remember reading The Rhythms of Parenting in the Sunday paper, tearing out the article and sticking it on the fridge. It stayed there for a good while, the white paper slowly yellowing, and I read it often. My favourite quote and the one I kept returning to was this:
"...by the time the child (and parents) emerge from the cocoon of infancy into toddlerhood and beyond, it is incredibly helpful to the parents, and soothing and stabilising for the child, to have predictable rhythms to most days' events."
Indeed, children thrive on predictability, days that are guided by an eating, playing, exploring, sleeping rhythm. Since Che was two I have implemented a very simplistic rhythm which changed, of course, with the seasons, the arrival of Poet and my increasing work-load. Now as the school timetable influences my week I have introduced a few things to ensure a smoother, calmer mama rhythm (as opposed to shrieking and attempting to get everyone out the door by 8:35am)
- I set my alarm and get up early. I often struggle with this but once I'm up I'm so grateful for the still and the quiet - it's a beautiful way to begin. I usually start with a cup of tea and then I'll pack Che's lunch. Sometimes I write, sometimes I put washing on, sometimes I just sit.
- I set Che's uniform out the night before to ensure it's ready and clean (which has been handy considering 2 days out of 5 there isn't a clean uniform to be found, hence a late-night laundry session).
- I've officially declared Thursday night "pizza night" and I always put aside a few pieces for Che's lunch on Friday (not having to make a sandwich or a wrap come Friday is rather nice)
- I work between 9-3 and then do a few hours in the evening when the children have gone to bed. Having such a definite schedule has ensured I work quite efficiently, even when writer's block strikes.
- In the afternoons I'm noticing that we're establishing a new rhythm around Che - afternoon tea and a chat, homework and an early dinner. I've found that dinner by 5:30pm is the best for children; it calms the witching hour (to a degree).
Of course, sometimes none of the above happens and I fumble my way through, trying my hardest not to lose the plot. On those days I remind myself that there's always tomorrow.
As for homework....well, Daniel and Che work together on the balcony while I prepare dinner. I hear snippets of their discussions, always peppered with silly stories. And sometimes I come across the "extra" creations and smile big. Like this:
"I sat on my cat. My cat is flat. I am a flat cat. The cat sat on my head. The cat did a poo on my head so I washed my hair with shampoo. It didn't work. I still had poo on my head. The end."
...just today the lovely Meagan launched "Whole Family Rhythms" - a guide to creating seasonal, weekly and daily rhythms for your family. Pop over there for a little inspiration...
...just today the lovely Meagan launched "Whole Family Rhythms" - a guide to creating seasonal, weekly and daily rhythms for your family. Pop over there for a little inspiration...
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Tuesday, February 05, 2013
the school series : the first day
"Few sights are as touching or emotionally overwhelming as that of our child releasing our hand and walking off to the classroom on the first day of school. The pre-school years are over. Our responsibilities shift and we find ourselves beginners once more. Raising schoolchildren proves to be a radically different experience from tending our under fives. Amateurs once again, we face a new stage of motherhood each time one of our children starts school."
- Sarah Napthali, Buddhism for Mothers of Schoolchildren.
And so on Monday morning I hugged him tight, told him I was proud and that I loved him so. He walked happily into his classroom; the beginning of a journey.
To be honest it was easier than I expected. I only cried a few tears and they were, most definitely, happy ones. Che? He was prepared, excited and full of wonderings, a beautiful place to be. He is in a small class of 16 students and his teacher is bright and bubbly and fun - the very best kind.
Come Monday afternoon Che ran to Daniel and I and hugged us both. Before we could say a word he stood proud and said: "I loved it!"
But it's what he shared on the way home that will stay with me forever.
"Mum, the Year 1 girls are so beautiful and they do really beautiful craft projects. They walk beautifully too."
To all of you who left such heartfelt, reassuring and encouraging comments in the lead-up to school - thank you, they meant the world.
I'll return to this series in a few weeks time. Whilst I don't plan to share a lot about Che I will talk a little bit about my new role and how I'm navigating the 5-day-a-week routine (without much drama, I hope).
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Friday, February 01, 2013
Much like I was during pregnancy, I am sorting and organising clothes, rearranging rooms, decluttering shelves and trying my very hardest to get to the bottom of the washing pile. I'm anticipating the adjustment period where free time is rare and, whilst my nights won't be sleepless, I know there will be a new kind of emotional exhaustion in our home.
It's ironic, I know, because I'm not birthing a baby but sending my first-born off into the world. I suppose this proves one thing: the metaphorical cutting of the cord is just as powerful as the physical.
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Monday, January 28, 2013
the school series : the mamas talk.........
cherished moments with che, captured by tim
This week is the last of the school holidays and come Monday I'll be a school mum. The transition has been on my mind for the past year but it was only yesterday, as I immersed myself in housework, that I realised......this is the beginning of a twenty year journey. And it's true; for the next two decades I will wash uniforms, pack lunches and demand a kiss and a cuddle before my children close the door behind them.
Come 2014 I may be able to write a post about Kindergarten - how to prepare and what to expect. In five years time I'm sure I'll have enough inspiration and experience to compile a book. But for now I'm happy to bring you the stories of other mamas; those who have experienced the enormity of school life - the wonder, the routine and the exhaustion.
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
the school series : 5 ways to prepare your child
Thankfully Justin Coulson (dad to five girls with a PhD in Family Psychology - and yes, he's Tim's brother) offered to share his knowledge with me. I told him that I want to be completely prepared. More specifically, I want to know how to prepare Che. Here's what he had to say:
1. Prep the Practical - In the weeks leading up to a school's commencement it's a great idea to get some routine arranged around mornings and how they should run. Help your child acclimatise to the appropriate wake-up time, let him know what he needs to wear and how he needs to dress and practice being all set to go on time. Do a full-on dress rehearsal one or two days prior to school including packing lunch and bags, putting on the uniform - the whole lot. It reduces anxiety and it assures that everything is purchased, prepped and in position for the first day.
2. Take a Tour - Hopefully by now most children will have had an opportunity to visit their new school. If you have missed out visit the school the week before term starts. It's likely that the teachers will be showing up and most would be glad to give you and your little one a tour. Familiarity with the school environment can make a big difference on day one.
3. Create Courage - As parents we can talk to our children about what courage is and give them role models to follow. We can teach the value of doing hard things and being persistent. And we can equip them with the courage to 'try on' new ideas, new challenges and new circumstances.
4. Develop Discernment - Ok, I know that's a big word - probably one that your child has never heard before. But the capacity to discern what is good and makes us feel 'right' from what is less good, and makes us feel 'bad' or 'icky' is essential. Let's face it though, school is a place where a range of experiences will occur, some of which will be less positive than others. To some extend discernment comes from experience. But not entirely. With your guidance, preparation, and ongoing communication your children can will learn what to take in from their school environment and what to leave out.
5. Maintain a Love of Learning - Our children are generally curious, inquisitive and excited to learn. However, we find ourselves at the end of the day exhausted, focused on routine and taking the shortest route to the pillow! It's often at this time that our children come to us with questions about ants, how cows are made or why the scissors won't cut through the coffee table. Our responses at this time might be directed towards giving the quickest and most convenient answers. But research shows that our children love to find out the answers for themselves, using us as guides and for support rather than an encyclopedia of knowledge. The best way to maintain their love of learning is to respond to their questions with enthusiasm and curiosity - even when you don't feel like it.
Justin recently wrote a fabulous piece about cyber-safety for children...it's definitely worth a read.
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I think what I find most challenging about school is the influence that will, in one way or another, challenge Daniel and my parenting values. I'm guessing it will start with lunchbox contents and I'm expecting it to progress to television shows, toys, video games etc. I hope Che is curious, I trust that he knows what's right and wrong and I look forward to the discussions that stem from the playground.
Mums, what did you find most challenging about the first year of school?
In the next few days I'll be posting some beautiful stories from school mums - emotional, heartfelt, you'll-need-a-tissue stories...
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Thursday, January 17, 2013
the school series : counting down
Yesterday he tried on his uniform, his sandy beach hair squashed by his enormous hat. He wore it proudly, stood tall in his new shoes and asked me, once again, how many more days till school.
It's such an enormous transition for the whole family and I've been doing my best to consciously prepare (myself more than anyone). I've sought the advice and wisdom of some of the mums and dads I admire most and I'll be sharing their thoughts here over the next week or so. I also have a fabulous back-to-school giveaway organised and I'm collecting some yummy ideas for lunchbox treats.
For now, I'll continue to make this summer-before-school-starts Che's best yet. Earlier this week I took him out for sushi, we spent time in the bookstore and then we bought socks and cotton singlets (because a cotton singlet is like a hug, in my opinion). He's been to the theatre with Mama and today he's going on the ferry with Ommi. Every second day we've been at the beach and every afternoon has been quiet - reading, baking, resting.
Whilst we make a memorable summer I am overwhelmed by the emotional tug of my first-born heading off to school. It's so very strong. Do you have a child starting school this year?
photos taken by luisa on our daytrip to Brooklyn.
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
We were quiet on the drive to school today and when it came time to get out of the car and walk up the path I saw his sadness. For the first time in months he held my hand instead of running ahead; like he wanted it to last for as long as possible.
We've come full circle and the end is just as momentous as the beginning. At his graduation last week he cried during the photo slideshow. "I just have so much love in my heart for Montessori," he said. Indeed, Montessori pre-school has been a seamless extension of our home - a nurturing place for him to grow and learn; to the beat of his own drum.
I'm so proud of him and his big, big heart. I'm so sad that this beautiful journey is over.
...and now I'm crying.
Labels: simple parenting , the school series
Friday, November 02, 2012
We are really blessed to live in the catchment area for a small, sweet school that has a wonderful reputation. We were welcomed into the courtyard with open arms and within minutes Che was introduced to his "buddy," Liam, who turned out to be the loveliest 11-year-old boy I have ever met. I watched him guide Che around the school, gently placing a hand on his shoulder and then crouching to make eye contact as they talked.
Daniel and I stood back and observed. And then we exhaled. I'm not sure if Liam will ever quite understand the extent of his kindness but as a mum quite reluctant to send my first born off to school, he made the transition so much easier - for all of us. He even pronounced Che's name correctly - oh thank you!
While Che and Liam visited the kindergarten rooms and made fabulous paper hats, Daniel and I went to the library to meet the principal and hear a little bit more about uniforms, school procedures and canteen. It all feels very real now...it all feels really good.
After sampling the pizza and cupcakes from the school canteen (for the very reasonable price of $1.60), Daniel is rather excited about volunteering for "snack shack" duty.
Labels: simple parenting , starting school , the school series
