Saturday, November 01, 2014

on caring less (about the stuff that doesn't matter)

This morning I sat on the beach and watched the kids play in the rock pools for a few hours. We were there early and for a good while we had one end of the beach to ourselves. Daniel was reading and I was observing; our beach towels were in the ideal position - half sun, half shade.

The ocean is my cure all and this morning it worked wonders. It doesn't take me long to rediscover gratitude when I'm near the sea; if I am privileged enough to immerse myself in nature and swim in the clear ocean then I am one of the lucky ones.

I went for my first swim of the season and it was so good to feel buoyant (this baby is going to be well accustomed to the sound of the waves by the time it's born). The water was beautiful - cold yet refreshing - and as I swam I felt nothing but free.

Years ago, after I had birthed Che, I refused to get in a swimming costume. I put on 24kg in his pregnancy and I struggled with accepting my new mama body - the change was immense and I didn't feel comfortable. Over the years I learned to let go of such petty restrictions and today was one of the first times where I thought: Goodness, who cares?

Over the past few months I have felt less inhibited and more content. As cliche as it may sound, I think turning 30 has a lot to do with it. My twenties were lovely but there was a fair amount of angst and self-criticism. I sacrificed so many ocean swims to cover a body that was nothing but normal!

Now, I'm well aware of the fact that I own my perspective and so I often ask myself: is it worth getting caught up in the little things?

Is it worth worrying about the mess of the house when a beautiful beach beckons? Can you put a swimming costume on and float in the ocean regardless of the your size or shape or self-consciousness? Can you immerse yourself in nature and realise that the opportunity to do so is a blessing?

All that other stuff - it doesn't really matter, does it.


17 COMMENTS

  1. Well done you. Doesn't it feel great to let go. I ma in my 40s and I am more comfortable in my body now than I have ever been. Enjoy ! V x

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  2. I agree. Don't you feel so free?! 30 is a well and true threshold. All of the folly and self-consciousness, especially once you are a mama, just begin to fade away. If you are in a committed relationship, love nurturing your family and spending your days deeply immersed in all of that, what better reason than to let go, right? I turned 35 in Sept and I cannot tell you how settled in my skin I finally am. My belly has stretch marks and an umbilical hernia from birthing 4 children, and frankly, nobody cares about that except me. I think all of us are always working for a fine-tuned version of ourselves, but in the end, it's just us personally, rolling judgment around in our minds and looking at ourselves critically. My husband is a professional Chef for a living, and I will never turn down anything he cooks, or a date to go have a tasting menu at some fabulous place, despite the fact that I will probably always carry extra weight because of it! Maybe I should have married a personal trainer, eh? ;)
    ps: such a lovely photo of your boy.

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  3. I didn't swim in the ocean a single time during the summer that followed my pregnancy. I also gained 24kg but was very lucky to shed the weight easily but was left looking soft & out of shape with stretch marks appearing post pregnancy. As someone that used to be a personal trainer i found it incredibly difficult to embrace my post baby body. This year i'm not going to let my insecurities stop me from enjoying summer with my water obsessed toddler. The further i get into my 30's the better i'm feeling about myself but it hasn't been easy.

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  4. If I can be grateful for one thing about motherhood, it's the perspective that it brings. The fact that my body has given me two healthy children is something I am overjoyed about. I have many thirtysomething childless friends who are still so caught up with body issues and I'm so happy that I've moved past that. While I'm not that enthused with my few extra kilos, it will not stop me doing things or get me bogged down because you're right, in the grand scheme who cares?! A lovely post Jodi.

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  5. I'm nearing the end date of my first pregnancy, and even this has been eye-opening for me in regards to how I feel about my own body. I've hated how I looked since puberty. Whilst pregnant, for the first time, I have been accepting and even pleased. My husband, who is my kindest fan, has been really relieved to see the change, I think.

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  6. I love your sentiments. I had my 3rd boy almost 9 months ago now and my body still isn't the same as pre-3rd pregnancy but I kind of love the extra "layer". I grew 3 babies inside me so I feel I owe my body a bit of kindness. The little self conscious things we worry about truly don't matter : )

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  7. I think it is important for your children too. I love my Mum, but when I was a child she never joined in because she was so hung up on how much weight she gained. She missed out on a lot - and we missed out on Mum participating a lot too - and looking back, we all know that it was for no good reason.

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  8. After spending a summer in Europe, I was completely in awe at how the locals don't seem to have as many body issues as us Aussies.

    People of all shapes and sizes were not only enjoying the beach, but also happy enough to walk around the shops and seaside promenade wearing nothing but thongs and a cossie.

    It really surprised me, since growing 3 babes myself, I am super self conscious about my body and usually swim in a potato sack!

    But after a few trips to the beach in Greece and Croatia, I simply forgot about what I looked like, and just had fun with the kids. Shock horror, no one was staring or gawking at me. And if they were? Big deal, I'll never see them again.

    Hopefully next time I visit the beach in Australia, I'll remember these things. It's just skin people! Take a look if you want and then move on!

    Also, nothing beats a pregnancy swim. I was in the ocean up until 37 weeks with Edward and it was heavenly.

    xo

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  9. Oh yes...as I approach 40 I feel it even more!

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  10. Oh it sounds so lovely!! The being at the beach part and yes I'm with you on the rest too. I just atepped into my thirties and I have four babes and while I'm still small the ole bod just ain't what it use to be. It's a tough adjustment, but with all those body changes also came a sense of peace and contentment. I've never been happier then where I am right now being a wife and mother. So I'll put on the swim shorts, it's worth the pay off!!

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  11. What a great post, I loved reading it & so agree with you about a) being by the ocean & how cares just seem to drift away, life just feels easier & b) getting in the ocean whatever your shape or size....just do it!

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  12. Gosh I loved turning 30. I felt like the world suddenly belonged to me, that finally my voice was finally, not just o.k, but perfectly imperfectly fabulous. 40 is approaching which I find so hard to believe. I still feel 16 when I'm with my girlfriends. I hope that I embrace my next milestone with the same enthusiasm. And yes, a mama's body is not the same. How could it possibly be?! It can take time to adjust to the new body we find ourselves in, but hopefully not too long to fall in love with it. We are warriors after all!

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  13. This is so beautiful, I appreciate your perspective and thank you for sharing. I am happy to have arrived at the place of not caring so much what others think. If I treat everyone with kindness and make healthy choices for my body and well being then I can feel good about myself. And if others criticise that's on them, not me.

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  14. It doesn't matter a bit! With the togs thing, I always figure that everyone else is too busy being self-conscious about wearing their own swimmers to care what I'm looking like in mine. The gift of life is too wonderful to worry about our packaging. x

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  15. I agree. life is there to be enjoyed! Its so nice to be back in the ocean swimming now spring is here. Lucky you to have the beach to yourselves for a while. Heaven!

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  16. I love this! I am 34 years old and have a lot of grey hair. I dyed it for a while, spending hours of my time and more money than I would like to think about, dealing with the grey. But no more. I am embracing it. It is what it is and there are other things that I would rather be spending my time and money one. Moving on...

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