This morning I sat on the beach and watched the kids play in the rock pools for a few hours. We were there early and for a good while we had one end of the beach to ourselves. Daniel was reading and I was observing; our beach towels were in the ideal position - half sun, half shade.
The ocean is my cure all and this morning it worked wonders. It doesn't take me long to rediscover gratitude when I'm near the sea; if I am privileged enough to immerse myself in nature and swim in the clear ocean then I am one of the lucky ones.
I went for my first swim of the season and it was so good to feel buoyant (this baby is going to be well accustomed to the sound of the waves by the time it's born). The water was beautiful - cold yet refreshing - and as I swam I felt nothing but free.
Years ago, after I had birthed Che, I refused to get in a swimming costume. I put on 24kg in his pregnancy and I struggled with accepting my new mama body - the change was immense and I didn't feel comfortable. Over the years I learned to let go of such petty restrictions and today was one of the first times where I thought: Goodness, who cares?
Over the past few months I have felt less inhibited and more content. As cliche as it may sound, I think turning 30 has a lot to do with it. My twenties were lovely but there was a fair amount of angst and self-criticism. I sacrificed so many ocean swims to cover a body that was nothing but normal!
Now, I'm well aware of the fact that I own my perspective and so I often ask myself: is it worth getting caught up in the little things?
Is it worth worrying about the mess of the house when a beautiful beach beckons? Can you put a swimming costume on and float in the ocean regardless of the your size or shape or self-consciousness? Can you immerse yourself in nature and realise that the opportunity to do so is a blessing?
All that other stuff - it doesn't really matter, does it.