when it comes to accessories, Poet firmly believes that "more is more"
It's been a year since I wrote "on having a third baby" and in that time it has become one of the most popular posts I've ever published. What is it about the third baby that causes such angst and deliberation for women? If I could take one guess, it's a simple case of mathematics - with three kids you're outnumbered (and by the third you're definitely feeling tired). But there must be more to it than that. No doubt those of you with three or more children are smirking now; filled with the wisdom that only comes from experience and knowing.
I'm currently 26 weeks pregnant and whilst many of the fears that I discussed last year have since dissipated there are still niggling worries that tend to surface at vulnerable times. Whilst I'm very grateful that we have relatively big age gaps between our children (3years and 9months between Che and Poet, 3years and 7months between Poet and baby) I'm well aware that school and pre-school commitments do not bode well with the newborn haze. Then there is, of course, the reality of working with a new baby; the juggle will become more complicated - there's an extra ball and I've only got two hands.
But the past few weeks have taught me some profound life lessons and I'm holding tight to them as we venture into this new stage of family life. When we first discovered that our house was going on the market and that moving was imminent, I was wracked with worry and fear. Everyone told us that the rental market was an unpleasant place to venture, that houses were overpriced and we'd just have to take what we could get (especially considering we wanted to be settled before Christmas). I was strongly resisting the reality that lay ahead and spent a good few days feeling anxious and miserable. In that time Vanessa emailed me and her simple words had a lasting impact:
change can be exciting and thrilling if we ease on the resistance and let it flow
I consciously let go of all that ugly resistance and three days later we found an ideal house; the next day our application was approved.
Growth and change is occurring within me and soon a baby will be born; our third-born, the one that we've been talking about for a good few years now. I'm accepting of the fact that I will rarely, if ever, get to the bottom of the washing pile. I know that we can all survive on eggs and toast for dinner and that running late to school is perfectly normal and acceptable. There will be work and deadlines and emails but there will also be long breastfeeding sessions, nappy changes and afternoon catch-up naps - a perpetual juggle and self-care will be priority (although personal space will be non-existent).
So tell me, mums of three plus, how can I make it all possible? I'd love to know what helped you in that first year. But please don't suggest a thermomix, it's not and probably won't ever be, in my budget.