Friday, October 10, 2014

on keeping an open mind

I'm not good at change, especially when it comes unpredicted and requires immediate action. 

I woke early this morning and my first thought was: we need to find a house. Indeed, it's all consuming and I'm trying my very best to stay calm, have faith and trust that the right home will come about. In the meantime, there's lots of internet searching, house viewing and form filling to be done, not to mention the necessary decluttering and packing. 

Daniel and I have been discussing what we require from our next home. Do we choose location and lifestyle over interior quality? Do we risk changing schools for Che if it means an affordable house that is both comfortable and family friendly? Do we spend that bit extra to stay in our current suburb or do we go for the cheapest option? Can we live in a teeny-tiny abode if it's close to schools and the beach and will mean we can save more money for a house deposit? Do I really need a dishwasher (I think I really, really do need a dishwasher). 

And then there is, of course, my desire to find somewhere that isn't completely hideous. This may be erring on the side of fussy but there's only so much seventies timber panelling I can handle. 

There's a lot to be said for decisions beyond our control and yet, for someone that likes to know what's coming next, the unknown can be daunting. Yesterday, whilst driving around suburb after suburb, Daniel remarked: "Isn't this exciting?!"...I was bemused by his enthusiasm. But then again, perhaps I just wanted some of it to rub off. Maybe this is exciting - new beginnings, a fresh start, just what we didn't know we wanted or needed.

My current mantra:

accept what is
let go of what was
have faith in what can be



25 COMMENTS

  1. Moving house is always so stressful, especially when you're renting. A few times, Nick and I were in your situation. Luckily, we didn't have children and therefore didn't have as many people to consider.

    I don't know what the best decision for your family is but I wouldn't rule out buying if you're in a position to. I know in your last post you mentioned it being an emotional investment rather than a financial one and whilst that's true living in a home you (kind of) own brings an extra sense of peace and wellbeing. I never felt completely comfortable in my adult life until I lived here. I, too am a homebody and it's amazing how much owning a home has nurtured that.

    Anyway, best of luck. I'm looking forward to reading about your decision. Linda. x

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    1. Unfortunately the cost of houses around our area have skyrocketed in the past year. We'd have to pay in excess of $550K and whilst we have a significant deposit we would prefer to have a bigger one so we don't have to pay as much mortgage insurance etc. That said, buying seems quite appealing right now although it's not something we want to rush in to x

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  2. I am not very good with change either Jodi. It's hard enough when my days plans change let alone the big stuff. I'm sure you've already thought of it, but if you had budgeted for repainting and new curtains etc in your current house, maybe don't rule it out for a new rental if that would make a difference? I'm sure with 7 years at the same rental you could get a glowing reference from ypur current landlord and you might be able to request a couple of improvements (especially if you're willing to pay) if you're planning to find somewhere for an extended period again. There's a huge benefit to a landlord in having a tenant who wants to stay longer than 6 or 12 months and will treat it as a home.

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    1. Only problem is, we had budgeting those improvements knowing that we wouldn't have to pay for moving etc - now that's all changed. It's something I will keep in mind though - a lot of rentals have peach vertical blinds which aren't exactly my favourite window dressing ;)

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  3. I have moved when pregnant and it's not fun. We're now owners and expecting our second and I love the security (probably not what you wanted to hear!) good luck x

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    1. No, it's good to hear. It's one of the reasons we will buy someday soon. I just don't want to rush into it, especially at the moment with me being pregnant etc x

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  4. Dear Jodi,

    This is just a tiny point in a sea of big decisions: you really, really DO need a dishwasher. Whilst pregnant with our third child we purchased one as a gift to the family and it kept me sane and happy from the moment she was born.

    Warmest wishes from France for this exciting (aka daunting) new episode.

    Stephanie

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  5. Ack. Just spent ages typing out a reply for my browser to decide to discard it. It was too long and rambling to type again so instead I shall tell you something very important....

    You really do need a dishwasher.

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  6. I would pay a bit extra for something you like - I need to be happy with the feel of my home if I'm spending lots of time there but some people don't mind!

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  7. Yes I agree, you really do need a dishwasher. All the best with the house hunting Jodi, I just know you'll find something perfect. xx

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  8. Oh my this would be so hard, I'm sure. I always think it would be lovely to live in a teeny house together. Less cleaning, which I love, and it's not like you really get space with littles anyway. Especially if it would help save money and you could live near great activities, and yes-to a dishwasher. I haven' t had one for the last five years, and let me just say yes, yes to a dishwasher!

    www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com

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  9. Yes, stay calm and stay open. The rest will work itself out. My very best wishes on the transition for you.

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  10. I thought we needed a dishwasher, so did my husband. Then we bought a little old run down house that does not have a dishwasher. And we're managing just fine! (I use the dishwashing as a bit of mindful practice, sometimes).
    Good luck, I'm sure the right place is there for you, even if it doesn't look like the right place at first glance.

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  11. Oh yes, the unknown makes me uneasy too. In the end everything always works out, one way or another, so that's the only thing you can be sure of. But then the when and how is still unknown! I hope a good home will come on your way soon. It will probably be a lot more exciting for you too when at least some part of the next step is decided. Then you can really enjoy this change!

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  12. We were in a similar situation a few months ago, when our landlord decided to sell. We lived in that place for almost 7 years. So we were forced to quickly look for a new rental, which was totally not what we planned as we were going to start looking for a house to buy. So what you say about this whole situation not being planned, not going on your terms, oh how I know that feeling. My husband was immediately excited about new opportunities, and I was crying in the back of our car, next to our then three month old (who was crying too) as we drove all around Sydney looking for a place to live. After some soul searching and thinking long-term, we ended up moving to the Central Coast, and now, when I look back at it, I see it was the best thing that could happen to our family at that stage. I trust that it will all fall into place for your family Jodi, like pieces of a giant puzzle. And you do need a dishwasher! Hope you will find something that feels like home quickly and without much stress. Change is the only thing that is permanent.

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  13. I agreed you need a dishwasher :) My old rental apartment in perfect for my twins and I - space/light/location, but keeping up with the dishes is the key thing that is always a burden in my mind. Good luck with finding somewhere!

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  14. You NEED a dishwasher, with 3 children, it will save your sanity some days, don't be hard on yourself. You can get a cheap, perfectly good dishwasher from Aldi, I know 2 people who put them in their rental properties,and find them reliable, trouble is they are only available sometimes.You could try "Gumtree" amazing bargains on there.
    I hope you can utilise some of your calming practices from yoga to help you through this unsettling time....."this too shall pass"

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  15. It may be selfish of me, but I am following your choices carefully. After seven years of fulltime work and part time study, my husband is on the verge of completing his secondary teaching degree. We are all looking forward to getting some quality family time back, but are also faced with the very real opportunity of moving interstate - something I always thought I wanted, but now the idea scares me. I think I will need to borrow your mantra! :)

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  16. It really is just a little bit exciting! Whatever you choose, it's not forever, so the risks are small, no really they are. Don't lose too much sleep, my lovely. Whatever you end up doing will be the right thing. x

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  17. I totally agree with you about buying at the moment. It is such a sellers' market and the Australian housing market so wonky that we are waiting too. On the dishwasher front - we bought a $500 Dishlex when we moved into our current rental 5 years ago and had it installed - best decision ever and when we go, we take it with us. Landlord perfectly happy with this choice. And with regard to location - my belief is that you should live in an area you love even if it means taking a not perfect house. So much easier then living in an area that doesn't include the services, atmosphere and look that you enjoy. We live in a lovely suburb - old, close to beach, great schools, lovely bakeries, delis, shops, parks, tree lined streets, where the houses average over a million dollars to buy and rentals for a nicely renovated home with the expected bits and bobs is around $700 to $1000 a week. No WAY we could afford that. So we rented a house on the main road with one old bathroom, a toilet out the back and no outdoor area but a big garden. Landlord had repainted and carpeted. Once our stuff was in it looked lovely and like us and whilst I never want to have a toilet off my kitchen and eating area again :-) it's a small price I don't mind paying to live somewhere that lifts my spirits and provides my daughter with access to a great school.

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  18. Change is hard. Moving house is hard. Moving house while pregnant is even harder! (We moved 18 days before my son was born. Never again).

    But isn't it serendipitous that your general de-cluttering and downsizing have come prior to you receiving the news...the world works in mysterious ways no?

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  19. I definitely think that feeling at home and being in a lovely space is important....important enough to pay a little extra for it. And, yes, I'd say with a pregnant belly and looking forward to being momma of three, you do need a dishwasher. I think to myself every day how much I love my dishwasher. Happy house hunting!

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  20. Loved reading this Jodi. We just pulled out an offer on a home that we thought we loved, but we realized that it didn't fit our lifestyle or what we really wanted in a home, it was just TOO big! I think the biggest thing in house hunting whether it is a rental or buying is to remember to remain true to your values. Dishwashers are fun, but for me, it hasn't actually done any real help in making me hate dishes any less, and sometimes I think that hand to dish contact is really something integral to the human condition, or something like that. The meditative quality of hand dishwashing. I know I miss it sometimes, and that's what our house hunting consists of, looking for simplicity and life in a space. :)

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  21. Jodi,

    my experience is that if you find something you like, go for it. We're renting a house that was really beyond our budget but we went for it and it's really worth it. It affects your life every day!

    We also negotiated to pay rent quarterly rather than montly in exchange for a 3% discount in rent. It helps!

    Paula

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  22. I know your exact feeling after having rented a lot and moved a lot. It feels very ungrounding and you get sick of not knowing whats going to happen or where your going to be come the next Christmas. However at the end of the day it's important to focus on whats most important - family and love, and just try to enjoy & make the most of each day as it comes. I think your decision to rent in order to save for a good deposit before jumping in is such a wise decision and in the long run you'll be so glad you made that choice. Good Luck with the move x x

    http://laurengillies3.blogspot.co.uk/

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