Thursday, September 25, 2014

when simplicity becomes a necessity

when home feels too small, we venture outside and look up and out

There is no denying that simplicity is the aesthetic du jour. White walls and indoor plants are just as fashionable as stripping back and paring down. But what happens when your life dictates that simplicity is no longer a choice but a necessity?

After much discussion we've decided against moving to a bigger house; we're staying put in our rental for the time being. Whilst our home is huge compared to the tiny living movement that's currently gaining momentum, there's no denying that by Australian standards and family size, our house is erring on the side of small. And that's fine by us. In fact, it's presenting me with a challenge that I was, in a way, begging for.

Soon, Daniel and I will share our room with a squawking sleeping babe (let's maintain optimism whilst we still have the energy). We intend to co-sleep (unless we have a baby who would prefer its own cot) and if past experiences are anything to go by, baby will be sleeping with us for two years - at least. 

Sleeping arrangements aside, babies need just a little more than a bed. Regardless of how strict I am about baby paraphernalia entering the home, I understand that at some stage very soon, there's going to be more stuff - clothes, blankets, muslin wraps, hats, nappies, socks - all the necessary that comes with having a baby; necessary that needs a place to live. That said, if I've learned anything from having two children, it's that you end up with a lot of things that you never really needed in the first place. There is so much you can do without. 

Our space limitations combined with past parenting experiences are a blessing - baby will receive only the essentials (and buckets of love, of course). And if baby can enjoy life with only the essentials, shouldn't the same rule apply to us? As I continue to spring clean and declutter I am spurred on by the fact that our home will not be growing extra room on its own accord. That job is ours. So we cull and clear and create more space in the knowledge that it will be filled with new love - not stuff and clutter. 


20 COMMENTS

  1. So true. Beautiful post. Thank you for your inspiration, a car boot load of things were dropped off at the op shop today and it feels good! On the car trip hearing my 5yo telling my 3yo that hopefully others will find our unwanted things useful was lovely to hear too! X

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    1. Thank you! With the amount I have donated over the past few weeks I could have opened my own op-shop x

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  2. We have a very small house by todays standards, certainly smaller than anyone else i know. Just 2 bedrooms, no wardrobes, no garage & the tiniest of bathrooms. We didn't think we'd cope once the little one arrived but now she's 2 & space-wise we're doing better than we imagined. We've been culling our belongings & hers. We need so much less than just afew years ago we thought we couldn't live without. Tomorrow we have dedicated the whole day to decluttering our bedroom. I can't wait to take the many garbage bags of unnecessary clothes to the salvos. When i was pregnant i stupidly bought 38 tiny singlets!!! What was i thinking?

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    1. You see, we have huge floor-to-ceiling wardrobes in all three bedrooms which are completely unnecessary. But guess what? They're very easy to fill. In early Nov we're getting the rooms and wardrobes (inside and out) painted which means everything needs to come out of them. Can you imagine the decluttering that will happen then?! I'm working on decluttering my clothing next week....to make space for teeny tiny clothes (but not 38 singlets!) x

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  3. Oh I totally agree Jodi. Coming home earlier this year to our little house, after a few months o/s and living out of a suitcase with two littles ones - I remember clearly standing in the kids bedroom and staring at the shelves full of clothes and toys and feeling SO overwhelmed. None of this was missed or needed while we are away. Life was simple and oh so good!

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  4. We are in the same boat. We thought we would move before our son was born, but two years later the housing market in Houston is a nightmare. Eventually we will need to move, but I have loved the clarity that the space constraint has brought us.

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  5. Hi Jodi, great post (as always!)
    I've always tried to live life as simply as possible, and am constantly reevaluating possessions and shipping them off to the op shop, much to my husband's dismay! However, as we are trying for our first child, I am a bit worried about my house becoming overrun in baby 'stuff'. I'd love a post on what I really actually need! My friends are not a great resource on this as they love baby stuff and their houses are covered in it! For example, do I really need the horrible brightly-coloured floors play gyms? I have a real dislike for those....
    xx

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  6. The three of us live in a one bedroom + small study apartment. Clutter is my worst enemy. No matter how many clean outs I do it somehow manages to find it's way back to us. I often find myself yearning for a bigger home, as if it's going to fix all my problems. Really, I just need to get rid of more stuff and train myself not to just replace it with new stuff.

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  7. Whatever size house you're in, clutter will come to haunt. So I try try try to tame the clutter beast! I have dreams of living in a tiny cottage someday, with everything pared down to clothes, some furniture, and a few boxes of belongings. My big problem is BOOKS -- far too many. I've made great friends with the library and I try to only let things in that I would want my daughter to one day pass on to her children....

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  8. I love renting! I think there is something nice about not being attached to something :)

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  9. haha! its amazing what you find in your cupboards isn't it? :) I tried offloading and selling any excess and unnecessary baby/kids things in the past year (including a lot of cloth nappies!) which I am now wondering what exactly do I have left for this last babe-a-coming!?!? (needless to say, the cloth stash is being rebuilt ;) that lovely was-MIL's-chair in our room... its getting re-homed to accommodate a narrow bassinet.. and that spare/guest room/study (which we are very lucky to have here in Syd Inner west!) well, it'll be over hauled and the big bed goes to the oldest child, whose bed will be dismantled..... and storage, theres none in the spare room... so I totally understand the reshuffling dilemma ! I really want to keep spring cleaning, but am sooo tempted to pull everything out and sort!! but with regular visitors and kids and holidays and working... ohmygod!! :) I suppose theres no 'right time' huh ?!!? :)

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  10. this is great and a reminder i desperately needed! thanks. x

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  11. We have 4 of us in a 2 bedroom 1950's home with limited storage. I've formally become a minimalist since we moved here and I love that. I was always pretty good at culling but now it defines how I live. It feels very right.

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  12. We often think about this. Our second bub is due in March and we have a small two bedroom house - which we love! We thought of moving but simply will make do - families share smaller spaces all the world over. At the end of the day, all you really need is love co

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  13. As a soon-to-be first-time-mom, saying no to gifted baby gear was so hard to do! We tried to keep things minimal (in fact I just wrote up a post about a few items were excited about) but I'm quickly realizing how much stuff may end up as clutter if baby doesn't like certain items. Eeeek.

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  14. Lovely sentiments! My Mum tried to impress the same notion on me before my first last year, but I didn't listen. I wasted so much money and energy on things we didn't need. Oh well, lesson learned. Simple is better x

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  15. It's so hard to limit the baby stuff, especially in the form of well meaning gifts. I think we went pretty light on the stuff with our little one.
    I have a question for you though. You mention co-sleeping until at least 2 years. We co-sleep with ours, who is now 18 months. I am curious how you went about the transition into their own beds? I'm not at all sure it will be an easy transition for us, I'd love to hear how other's have gone about it (and there's really not a great deal out there, from the personal experience side of things). Just if you get a chance :)

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    1. I'm so glad you asked this question as it's one that I love to answer. There's this misconception that cosleeping creates attached, clingy children and in my experience, it's been the complete opposite. I find that allowing the children to sleep in our bed has definitely given them a good dose of independence - when they're ready to embrace it. I always had a single bed set up for the kids when they were about 18-months and we would often lie there to read books in the afternoon. After a few weeks I encouraged them to take their afternoon nap on the single bed which they happily did. When they were about 2 we encouraged them to go to sleep in their own bed and after 6 months of day sleeps, they were happy to make the leap at night. Granted, they still came into our bed in the early hours of the morning till about 3.5 (Poet still creeps in about 3am most nights). I think the key is to NOT make it a big deal and don't have too many expectations. Ease into it, make "their" bed a special place and before long, they'll fall in love with it too x

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    2. Thank you. That's pretty much along the lines of what I've been thinking, to get the single bed ready now. I really appreciate hearing how you managed it. x

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  16. We co-slept with our first because it was what I felt was right for both of us. He is seven now and has always been a very extroverted child (very sociable) who has always been really capable and independent. Our second child sleeps in a cot from birth but in our room because again I could sense it is what we both needed. He is almost two and we can see he is more introverted. Which makes sense why he likes to sleep alone:) We have just moved from an big old house with 3 bedrooms with built-ins to a small old house with only one built-in which means we are up to our ears in boxes and I have been doing trips to the salvo's. I am so happy I can finally be forced to have a simple house with less stuff. This was the only way I could have the limitations of "stuff" by moving to a smaller house. If you could please address how do you deal with all the gift giving from well meaning friends and family. I simply get too much I don't need or want and then store it grudgingly or feel guilty for giving it away. Many thanks.

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