Sunday, August 29, 2010

when did you become a mum?

In today's Sun Herald's Sunday Life liftout there is an article titled "Prime Time." It features the doe-eyed beauty Natalia Vodianove - a mum-of-three at the youthful age of 25. While the term 'young-y mummy' is used (I detest the pop-culture slang of it all) it brings to light the rise of young mothers - those having their babies in their early twenties. It seems that the past five years have been all about the older mother, rising infertility rates and the race to conceive before nature decides otherwise.


I birthed Che when I was 23. Over the past three years I have taught over 200 women pre-natal yoga and only a handful have been younger than me. It's been a beautiful experience to meet and share the journey of pregnancy with women of all ages and from all walks of life. However, it has become clear to me, after many discussions with pregnant women, that it is rare to decide to start a family and fall pregnant soon after. I think, in fact, it is bordering on mythical that society thinks it happens this way. While some babies are conceived in a cloud of love/lust/surprise others take years of trying/alternative therapies/medical assistance to arrive. I think so often we have no control over when we become parents. Sure the 'choice' is there but there are so many other factors that play a part.

Which brings me to an interesting question. When did you become a mum and do you believe it was the right time for you? I'll post my answer tomorrow.

Happy Sunday.



24 COMMENTS

  1. I became a mum at 25 and am now 26 with my beautiful 10 month old son, Ronan. My husband and I were very blessed in that only weeks after deciding we'd like to start 'trying' for a bub, we found out we were pregnant. We were living in London at the time but had already booked our tickets home and had a few weeks of travel to do before returning to Australia. I agree that it takes so many things to bring it all into being...the decision is only a small step in comparison to every other factor that needs to be considered. I love being a young, healthy, active mum and wouldn't wish it to be any other way. You can follow by blogs 'Beautiful Boy' and 'Thanks for the Grub' if you are interested :-) xx

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  2. Hi there,
    I had my first daughter when I was 28, my second when I was 30. We were fortunate - having done uni, established our careers, travelled and lived overseas all beforehand - we fell pregnant straight away both times. We feel very blessed.

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  3. I become a mum just before my 19th birthday. I was very young but had a lot of support and still managed to complete a university degree with honors and be a parent. My second and third child came when I was 31 and 32. I think both ages have their advantages and disadvantages.

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  4. I had my first at 36 (... or as an "Elderly Primigravida" as so delighfully termed in the medical world!) and my second at 38.

    There are so many reasons it would have been great to be a much younger mum, but it wasn't to be. On the upside I was able to establish a career, travel and be pretty financially secure before we had the kids.

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  5. I had my daughter shortly after my 22nd birthday. I think it was the right time for me to become a mom. The past nine years have been an amazing journey & I feel truly blessed.

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  6. Gave birth at 29. Wish I had started earlier, physically, but thank god none of my previous partners are the father of my beautiful treasure! Yes, it is easier if you have a house, have lived a little and have $$ in the bank, but it all means nothing if you don't have the right partner to share it with.

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  7. I became a mother for the first time at 25 having had two miscarriages before that. I honestly think the rise of young people in their teens using the pill has a lot to do with the fact that so many have to wait and work really hard to have babies. In my case it was put down to the use of fertilisers in the water sources where I lived as a teenager or else the fact that my husband had been poisoned a few times with termite poison while acting as a house sprayer. Cherrie

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  8. i look forward to experiencing motherhood in the next few years, in my mid-thirties, if its in the stars. love hearing from all the other woman, young and old(er),...

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  9. I call my little one 'made with love'....I found the right man at 25 but we were not in the right place until I was 32, when I fell pregnant by surprise - but when we were completely ready. It coudn't have been more perfect. For some reason, I felt at 32 that I was getting on the old side and would have enormous trouble falling pregnant. I feel extremely fortunate (and grateful!)that she arrived in the way that she did and when she did.

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  10. I became a parent at 23 of four, the youngest, at the time, 2. Then there was one 5, one 7 and one 9. I don't know that I thought about whether I was ready. It just was. Now they're 16, 19, 21 and 23. Where did all that time go?

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  11. I was 26 when I had Abigail. I would have liked to have started a family a little earlier in life, but I have no regrets now.

    x

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  12. I was 34 when I had my daughter and 38 when my son was born. It was the right time for me and my husband. I sometimes wish we'd met each other earlier and started a family younger because perhaps we could have had more children but too old now. But then I didn't want children in my twenties. So no regrets.

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  13. I was 26 when I had my first and 30 when I had my second. I couldn't wait to be a mum, so as soon as I passed all my exams (qualifying as a Chartered Accountant), I went off the pill and was pregnant a month a half later. We were very lucky with the second one too, we basically looked at each other and fell pregnant. I feel it was the right time, although a lot of people consider that too young. But when I look at some of the comments, it seems that it is an average age :).

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  14. Hi :)
    I became a Mum when I was 24, it was a surprise but a good one of course. I wasn't on the pill at the time so that possibly was a factor for me to be able to conceive so easily.
    I personally don't consider myself a young Mother however I did find myself intimidated when I joined a Mother's group as most of the women were in their 30's.

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  15. It's so funny that you've written about this because after I read the article in the Sun Herald yesterday, I showed it to my husband and we've been discussing it ever since. We're pretty young (23 and 26) and we've been married for over a year. This is something we talk about a lot because my husband wants to have kids young (i.e. soon) and I want to wait a few years so that we can travel, save money, and just generally be carefree. On the other hand, I've always wanted kids and I love the idea of being a young mum. I like hearing everyone else's thoughts on the matter, although it can just make me more confused :)

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  16. I first became pregnant when I was 19; I was one month away from being 20. I had been married for a few months and desperately longed for a baby. That pregnancy terminated in a miscarriage, and three months later I went on to conceive my oldest son and deliver when I was one month shy of 21. So when did I become a mom? When I conceived the first time? or later when I delivered a full-term baby. I guess it is all a matter of opinion.

    Yes, I do think it was the best time. I have loved being a mom to each of my 6 children and still think on my miscarried baby and a tiny little 25 week gestation baby that was born too prematurely to survive. Being a mommy is a wonderful, sweet adventure.

    At 40 I am now a grandma to an eight month old grandson who is a sweet addition to our family.

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  17. I had my first son at 28, the same age as my mum with her first and the same age as my sister with her first. I however fell pregnant after only being with my partner for 3 months....oops si daisy!!!Three kids later each with 2 and a half years between we are still together and making it work....hasn't been easy though!!!!

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  18. I became a mom at 20. The pregnancy was certainly a surprise, but I am so so blessed that it happened. Now, at 25, I have 3 beautiful boys, and the relationship I have with my (now) husband remains strong. I couldn't imagine my life taking a different direction.

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  19. I was 32, 34 and 36 when I had my babies. It was the right time for us. We did what we needed to do before them and now we are doing what we really wanted to do. xxx

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  20. I was 25, 26 and will be 28 when this bubba comes. I love being a young mum and have no regrets whatsoever.

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  21. I'm pregnant with my first at 37. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, and the timing just wasn't right. Both of us had demanding jobs, then we were studying for MBAs. Then a serious illness in the family. Plus to be honest, I was not ready to be a mum. Physically I know it would have been easier for me to start when I was younger, but emotionally I was not in the right place. When we decided to start trying 2 years ago we discovered I had some health issues that meant I had a 2% chance of conceiving without medical assistance. We were just about to start IVF and whammo, natural BFP. So I've been thinking recently that when it's meant to be, it will be.

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  22. First child at 27 (single) and again at 33 (engaged). Reasons, my health, spending time with our eldest and a few of the mothers I know told me not to have them too close unless I wanted twins! I also wanted this age gap so our eldest was old enough to look after himself (routine wise). The surprise of it is, our 6yo can bottle feed and burp his 4 month old brother.

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  23. i became i mom last year at the age of 36, almost 2 months short of my 37th birthday.
    it was the right time. when i met my now husband, we immediately started talking about having a "Lily".
    the day after he proposed to me, i took a pregnancy test and we found out we were pregnant.
    i often think about how i would've liked to have been a younger mom but, it obviously wasn't meant to be then, it was meant to be now.

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  24. I'm fascinated by this conversation. Im 25 and have been married for 2 years to my 28 yrold husband. Ive always wanted kids and like the idea of being in my 20s when I have them - he sways between not being sure whether he wants them or not... It's fascinating that almost everyone has said "no regrets". I guess not being a mother I have no idea what it's like, but I truley do wonder if people really have absolutely no regrets - especially the particularly younger mums...
    ps. Just stumbled across your blog, it's lovely.
    *s*

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