Wednesday, July 20, 2016
what's so bad about the colour pink?
Poet at her party | gorgeous floral dress by printebebe and face painting by the very talented party-hosting girls, Sahri and Emily
Somewhere along the way, the colour pink got a bad wrap.
Perhaps we can blame Barbie who made pink so sickly sweet or the slew of toy manufacturers who opted to coat all manner of dolls and prams and tea sets in the candiest shade.
When Poet was born I refused to fall into the girly trap of ghastly pink. Just because I had a daughter did not mean I had to conform to a certain colour palette! For her first year I dressed her in lots of neutrals with pops of red and blue and hints of pink here and there. But then she grew up and her independence shone through and all of a sudden she wanted to wear layers of pink - in all the shades, all of the time.
I resisted, of course, and tempted her with blue florals and love hearts on her overalls, but she was adamant that pink was her favourite and therefore it should be a vital part of our everyday. Subsequently, pink is peppered throughout our home; she paints with it, draws with it and wears it in her hair.
But our experience with pink is so much more than just a girl wanting to wear her favourite colour. It's about the ideals I created for myself as a parent and the ones I've let go of because I realised how ridiculous they were. For some reason I thought there was something wrong with pink. If I dressed my daughter in pink was I falling into a pre-conceived gender trap? Was I adhering to stereotypes?
Um, it's just a colour! And if she loves it, how dare I place all these rules and regulations on it. More often than not she chooses what she wears (although some days I need to add or subtract a layer to ensure it's seasonally appropriate) and sometimes she wears pink, sometimes she doesn't. Right now we're all about skirts and dresses and necklaces and hairbows but somedays she wants nothing more than a day in her PJs with mismatched socks to boot.
On Sunday just gone we hired the local hall for her birthday party and invited her friends along to celebrate. A few days earlier we went to the shops and bought pink streamers, pink bunting and pink balloons. I looked down at her in the supermarket aisle and soaked in her excitement; it was palpable, she was squealing with glee, her eyes were wide and bright and absolutely delighted. And all because she was choosing the party decorations that her heart desired.
It was her 5th birthday and I let her paint the day pink. There were princess cups and pink cupcakes, face-painted flowers and glittery hair decorations, pink wrapping paper tied with pink ribbon. We danced to Taylor Swift and Frozen and when it was time to go we bellowed a passionate rendition of Annie's Tomorrow.
I'm not sure what it is about (some) girls and the colour pink but if Poet loves it, I love it too.
Tell me, is there a pink obsession in your household? Does it bother you or do you embrace it?
22 COMMENTS
I don't have a problem with the color, but looking back, I may have unconsciously avoided it! We had a lot of play/dress up tutus and whatnot in varying shades of pink (and to think of it, most of those were given to us!), but dresses and 'real' clothes...I must have avoided! Barbie, on the other hand, I consciously tried to steer clear of, but I bought one once when it was specifically asked for. Even the 'veterinarian' Barbie was dressed in a short, ruffly skirt that looked like a cocktail waitress. I was glad when she spend most of her time naked. Now my girls just want t-shirts and leggings...I miss the little dresses, of any color!
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ReplyDeleteIf we can surround our young daughters with examples of girls who are bold, brave, smart, innovative, cooperative and loving, there is no reason to be anti-pink in my opinion. It's the Commercial Industrial Complex that usually packages hyper-stereotypical "girly" behavior like superficiality, cattiness, boy-craziness, etc. in pink that is so objectionable. Pink, in and of itself, is harmless. As parents we should instill media savvy in our children as much as is age appropriate so that a choice like favoring pink is just that - a choice - and not an unconscious response to media that is increasingly difficult to filter. I love the conversations that I have with my children surrounding media literacy. I am always awed by how bright and capable they are in navigating the world when they are equipped with the right words and tools to do so.
ReplyDeleteIf we can surround our young daughters with examples of girls who are bold, brave, smart, innovative, cooperative and loving, there is no reason to be anti-pink in my opinion. It's the Commercial Industrial Complex that usually packages hyper-stereotypical "girly" behavior like superficiality, cattiness, boy-craziness, etc. in pink that is so objectionable. Pink, in and of itself, is harmless. As parents we should instill media savvy in our children as much as is age appropriate so that a choice like favoring pink is just that - a choice - and not an unconscious response to media that is increasingly difficult to filter. I love the conversations that I have with my children surrounding media literacy. I am always awed by how bright and capable they are in navigating the world when they are equipped with the right words and tools to do so.
ReplyDeleteMy only daughter is now 10 years old, and pink was her favorite color until this past year. Now ~ she loves purple! :)
ReplyDeleteIsnt it funny how even though we try and not place any pre conceived ideas on our kids about pink and dolls are for girls and blue and cars are for boys, they just naturally follow this trend. Our son, without our input, loved dinosaurs and cars and now Superheroes and his favourite colour is green. If we had a girl i think we would avoid pink also but its nice that she just chose that on her own!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Poet! Sounds like she had a lovely party.
ReplyDeleteI get so frustrated with the 'girly' marketing and bad rap that pink gets. It is simply a colour, it shouldn't have anything to do with gender and children should be allowed to like and experience all colours with freedom (I know I sound a little crazy, but truly it annoys me). Pink and red were my son's favourite colours until he started preschool. He said they felt like 'strong colours'. Now in kindergarten, he has been swayed by marketing and peer pressure and when asked his favourite colour will respond with the predictable blue.
I love this. It's so true, it's just a color. My daughter is obsessed with the color purple, but I'm a pink lover myself.
ReplyDeleteAll little girls just love pink..........at that age...as my daughter got older around 8 she loved blue and didn't want to wear pink anymore but as a 3-4 year old all she wanted to do was wear pink. I don't think there is anything to worry about as little girls can play with trucks in the sandpit etc. and some boys play with dolls....I think it's an inbuilt thing really....little girls just love pink...and it's such a pretty colour.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is now 23, and between 5 and 8, she would wear only dresses. no pants- so we layered leggings under and just rolled with it. It's just clothes, or color. My now 15 year old son loved a baby doll who was dressed in pink, his "little sister" till he was 5 or 6. No biggie.
ReplyDeleteI really love this post! Pink is my favourite colour. I use splashes of it a lot in the things that I make, but what I love about pink is that it looks beautiful besides my other favourites aqua and gold. It is just a colour, and while I adore it, I have no interest in having every article in my house featuring it. So I love that you have allowed Poet to be Poet - to love pink and the princess stuff! I'm glad my Mum just always let me be ME because as parents, it's one of the most precious things you can give a child. The ability to know she/he can be themselves, whatever the ridiculous world says. We aren't going to stop any problems by denying girls pink or boys blue, but we ARE going to help raise confident, secure, healthy grown ups by telling them it's okay to be who they are and allowing them to just be THEM. So go pink, blue, yellow, red and green! Childhood isn't meant to be a political statement, it should be messy, awkward, glittery, sometimes tacky and mismatched! x
ReplyDeleteHello- Lovely blog-- but did you mean to misspell Practicing? There is no s
ReplyDeleteHello- Lovely blog-- but did you mean to misspell Practicing? There is no s
ReplyDeleteIt is spelt Practising in Australia.
DeleteThanks, Mel! Yes, in Australia we spell it with an S
DeleteI went through the same thing with our little girl :) She loves pink, no doubt about it!
ReplyDeleteI truly started to embrace it when the special education teacher at our Waldorf school gave a lecture on educating boys. One of the things she shared was that boys' and girls' eyes actually develop differently, and that as a result, boys actually see the colors blue and black more clearly and girls pink and red. Hearing that made me realize that there are lots of reasons we're aware of that children like what they like!
It's hard not to put them into a new box when we are trying hard to keep them out of the one culturally created for them!
My 'baby' girl turns 2 in August but for months has chosen 'party dresses' and everything pink to wear ALL THE TIME. She is the girliest and strongest personality I know. Nothing cuter than a girl filling her tonka truck with dirt then shouting hooray as her and her big brother send the trucks down the hill to crash at the bottom...all completed in a pink tutu with a peppa pig necklace on! Go pink :)
ReplyDeleteMy girl had a pink phase a couple of years ago (it coincided with the dress phrase too) but now at 5.5 she's fairly neutral in what she wears. Quite a bit of black and blue and grey with all the other colours. I think children and just like adults, they have preferences and taste and style.
ReplyDeleteI rather love that clashing, mishmash of colour riot that young children smash together. Super special
After years avoiding wearing almost anything pink (after going through a stage of only wearing pants if they were pink), I've found myself drawn to the colour but am yet to give in... Unless it's something for my son, who requested "something pink" for his birthday, and who needed new gumboots and only the bright, bright pink ones would do. I'm rolling with it, because yes! pink is just another colour.
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful that you are letting her embrace what she loves. I just turned 40 and my favourite colour is PINK! I also adore a soft lemon. I decorate my home in shades of blue and neutrals though and I don't really ever wear pink, but I adore it especially in flowers. I had my cake covered in Pink roses and takes set up with vases of pink and white flowers and then white candles everywhere, it looked so pretty. My oldest daughter Aspen now 12 has never been a fan of pink, she loves green. I was grateful when my second daughter loved pink! She has the most gorgeous room with soft pastel pinks scattered around her otherwise mostly white room. We have to accept what they love, and their style. Yes when they are babies we can do what we want and style to our taste, but as they grow we need to support their individuality. Great post!
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely because you didn't force pink or girliness on her, and let Poet come to her own conclusions about her favourite colour - you did everything right.
ReplyDeleteWhen I have a kids I'm going to dress them in all different colours - I think the only bad thing is when people dress their little boy in all pink, or their little boy in all blue because it's limiting. Of course pink and blue are just colours, but they represent so much more than that when it comes to gender.
when she was little, my oldest daughter only wanted to wear pink. would also only wear smocked dresses with a big hair bow or costumes. the youngest refused to wear anything pink. fast forward to now: the oldest is in law school and still wears pink whenever she can. the youngest, nineteen, avoids it when possible :). a lot of who they are is there from birth.
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