Tuesday, June 03, 2014

plagued by indecision

At this time of year our home is cold and full of draughts; it sits in shadow for the majority of the day. Regardless of how uncomfortable it can be during winter I adore this little brick house; it's the only home the children have ever lived in, it makes sense that I have a deep connection to it.

I was looking back through my archives a few days ago and it's a little over a year since I wrote this post. And yet, Daniel and I are still having the same discussions about when to move and where to live. Financially we are getting closer to buying a home but there's a big part of us that is resisting that idea - everything is so expensive at the moment and it's such a big commitment. The allure of being able to pack up and leave is a beautiful one and it definitely doesn't go hand-in-hand with home ownership.

Since Daniel returned from overseas he's spent a lot of time working in the city. The film industry is based in Sydney (there's just no denying it) and so he's been travelling to and fro, sometimes staying away for days at a time. A few years ago I wouldn't have even considered living in the city and yet now it's something we're discussing quite seriously and at length. The part of me that wants to leave and experience a new place is growing bigger and stronger. My resistance? Fear of change.

Fear is so overwhelming at times and for me it's got a lot to do with having to make a decision. I loathe making big decisions! Moving means leaving a comfortable home, a beautiful location, packing everything up and finding a new house, settling into a new school etc. I have this belief that we've got it so good here that we couldn't possibly find the same thing anywhere else. And yet if I'm completely honest with myself I know that there will be a different kind of good wherever we live, I just need to be open to it. To let go and make the leap.

Perhaps my greatest fear is regret - of staying in one place because it was comfortable and never experiencing a different location.

Daniel is quite realistic when it comes to moving - "If we don't like it we'll just move back" - simple, really. But then there's my thought process - so weighed down with emotional attachment and "what ifs".

There is a big part of me that would like someone else to make the decision - again, that fear.

So tell me, do you live in a city with children? If so, what's it like? If we do end up moving to Sydney we'll be looking for a suburb that has everything we need; settling into a little village within the big city.


52 COMMENTS

  1. I'm the same - we talk about moving all the time but I think that, until we move to Canada in a few years, we'll stay where we are. But I too hate making big decisions.

    As for Sydney… you know where we live and we love it! I rarely have to drive anywhere and we have so much to do so close by. In winter we're a few minutes walk to the library with its story times and sing-a-longs, in summer we have an outdoor pool within walking distance. We have family close by to help, and many friends with kids as well. One of my favourite things about living here is how easy it is to catch up with friends with very little notice. Take tonight, for example, I was invited to an event at a local restaurant last minute, so Pia and I are going to go and take advantage of some free food and drinks for an hour or two :) x

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    1. Thanks, Gaby. Appreciate everything you have mentioned here x

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  2. Move. Choose the adventure of something new xxx

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    1. Love this - straight to the point. A big fat push! x

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  3. Such a hard decision, I've been there, sort of. No children, not moving to the city, but uprooting and moving, often interstate, often to no home at all! And the indecision voices start, I worry, I panic, I say no a lot. My husband says yes, everything will work out, just you wait and see. Often he's right, he's a bit clever like that, maybe Daniel is too. I would just advise to be open, always open, to new experiences, new places, new people. This time our move (we've moved six times in the last five years, each time hundreds, sometimes thousands, of kilometres apart!) has been back to my home turf, yet it's still foreign to me, I'm making a conscious effort to make this time a little different. So far so good. Be open and listen to both yourself and your man, can't go wrong.

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    1. P.S. Oh and Lou Buma does the children in the city thing with absolute aplomb - pick her brain!

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  4. We just moved back to Sydney from a few hours north of Sydney and we will be back in an apartment at the end of this year. I miss our big garden and quiet but love I can jump on a bus to lots of places, the multicultural atmosphere, the food oh the food options and being closer to family. I also love that if we are in a smaller place, we have less stuff and we get out in the community more. Like today, library and community veggie garden. Great way to be part of the village more :) Good luck with the decision. It is always a little harder with kiddlywinks but mine have actually quite enjoyed moving.

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  5. Whatever you decide, I have no doubt you (and Daniel) will make it work.
    Rick's job entails change/moving that I have no control over whatsoever, and part of these last ten years of marriage has been about me having to learn to embrace change. Not easy for someone with my sort of personality, but it's definitely been an adventure of sorts filled with priceless memories. Leaving a home is always hard, no matter what the circumstances. But creating a new home is also beautiful and exciting.
    I'll be following along, no matter what you decide to do. :)
    Ronnie xo

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  6. I think it is harder once you have a child at school, especially if they love it and have good friends (friends/their family you like too). Saying that we are taking 12 months out next year to do a Big Lap of Australia. Stepping out of your comfort zone is good. I love letting my little family grow up in the coastal country, but do miss some of the things my friends get to experience (with ease) with their little people in Sydney. There is positives to both city and country, you just have to look out for them and take them :)

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  7. I've moved often, though with no children, and always with some sadness. Our last move was from our first home together, which we purchased. We still own it, it's rented out, but you can bet I bawled when I walked around it the last time. Far from feeling sad about it now though just a couple of months later, I still get the same warm, homely feeling thinking about it - I've carried the heart of the place with me. Moving is a big deal, but I've never regretted it. What I do regret are the opportunities to move to new places that I didn't take. Good luck with your decision x

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  8. It's such a difficult decision to make. Even though we live rurally I love being a city dweller, that said, I can't imagine trying to navigate a big city with young children and no family around to support us. When Nick and I moved back around this area the main catalyst was wanting the kids (not yet born) to grow up around their extended family. In my mind, they deserve to know their grandparents as well as they know us and to be honest, having my parents to rely on as babysitters is so amazing. I do miss Melbourne though!

    I guess we're in a different position to you guys though. We decided that career was secondary to having family around us and have made certain sacrifices. Luckily neither of us work in an industry that requires us to be in a big city.

    However... I think you should move. If you don't, you'll never know. You can definitely always go back. If it means Daniel spending more time with the kids and you having your love in bed each night, then it's definitely worth it.

    Good luck deciding! Linda. x

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  9. We moved to Sydney three years ago from New Zealand leaving all our family and friends behind and knowing only one friend. I have no regrets, yes there has been hard times but we love Sydney and live in a lovely family friendly suburb in the inner west and I can walk to most things I need regularly and are close to lots of beautiful parks and playgrounds for the kids and it really doesn't take too long to get to the beach. Yes it is busy but with a big city brings a lot of choice and there is always something new to see or visit. All the best with your decision!

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  10. This post is very timely for me, especially this week while I plan out a proposal.
    We've been considering a move from Canberra to Melbourne recently. I am very keen - my partner is more cautious. Although we will be further away from my parents (we are already several hours away), we would be in the same city as my sister and her family.
    There are so many factors to consider, timing (I want to move in January before my daughter starts school), work, another baby (we both want one, but I want to move first), housing. I am pretty set that we would rent there, and rent out the house we currently live in.
    I long to live in a big city again - a change of lifestyle and so many more experiences.
    I can totally see the practical reasons for you Jodi, and the possibility of regret if you don't go. However, you seem to have a lot of family support and your children get to hang out with their Grandparents. You seem to have a very lovely lifestyle and obviously live in a beautiful area.

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  11. Yes, this is a decision that can weigh heavy! We move around quite a lot with my husband's job (he is a Chef for a major luxury hotel chain and the only way to get promoted is to move locations - usually with a maximum of 6 weeks notice). We have 3 (soon-to-be 4) kids ages 7.5, 5.5, and 22 months. We were both raised in big cities (me - New York; hubby - Vancouver) and our children have always lived in big cities: Montreal, NYC, Vancouver, Austin... Now we are in a quieter kind of place - we live in Santa Barbara, California - north of Los Angeles, where the pace is slower and we have everything we need. Except housing is a disgusting price, this community is overall way too expensive (it's the American Riviera, so totally not a place we ever thought we'd live)-- but the kids are happy and we are living that indoor/outdoor perfect weather lifestyle as it goes in Southern California. We won't stay here forever - perhaps another year before on to the next location. My advice to you is to fully trust yourself and to know that it's okay to fly by the seat of your pants or to plunge into a challenge. Kids are incredibly adaptable and there are so many amazing places in this vast world of ours. Daniel's point is a valid one: if you are miserable or get there and after a time realise it is not for you, you can always do something about it. Just be aware that it takes a good 6 months to settle into a new place, during which you will have many up's and down's...but give yourself the opportunity to have those emotions and to find all the good bits about your next location. Good luck! No regrets! Exciting times ahead :)

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  12. I'm going to be controversial and say that I think living in a city with young children is absolutely wonderful! My happiest days were when we lived in Alexandria, I found Mums to be friendly as we all lived in small flats or terraces and there was sooo much to do to stimulate littles' minds! We now live in the country, ironically in my dream house, an old house we did up on a huge corner block and yet I'm more isolated than ever. My boys love it with a cubby and space and mud to play in. We're also closer to my family here but I often find myself pining for public transport that zooms us into the museum in 15 mins. Maybe it's a case of the grass is greener but don't write off the city, it's fantastic for kids and it is oh so possible to build a community there.

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  13. Dear Jodi,

    This is the first time I take time to write here, though I read your blog every single day.
    The reason why I "take the pen" today is that I could have written those words, word for word, line for line. It made such an echo in my heart that I just had to write back.
    I live with my lover and our 2 years old girl in a country home, the only home my girl has known. Here it is so quiet and beautiful, surrounded by trees, birds songs, peace in all shapes. But we decided to move in the city, in an flat, this summer. We are just tired of driving the car anytime we have or want to do something outside (library, swimming pool, marketplace, have a drink, see friends, etc...), we are tired of cleaning a way too big house, of preparing firewood to heat up the house ; well after more than one year of deep thought, we concluded that a city life is somehow more simple, more adapted ot our aspirations.
    So that's it, in one month, we'll be urban residents, and if I'm very excited about it, I must admit that fear is eating me up. I've never slept so bad, waking at night convicted that this is a bad choice, that my country-raised daughter will never handle noise, people, car pollution, electromagnetic waves. But I know we have to do it, and I think I'll exactly understand why when we'll be settled down. My man sees it like an no-risky-at-all adventure, a challenge, an attempt, and if things go wrong, we'll move away, or back ; at least, we would have decluttered our home and would be much lighter to move forward. I like this attitude : to not stay in a situation that is not appropriate, to take freedom to try something new, something unknown, without any regret except to not have done this sooner.
    So of course we took time to choose our new home : little building with a four residents only, with a community garden, lots of light,in all rooms (we live in a very dark house, I crave for light !) quiet neighborhood, just nearby a park, a library, and a bus station.
    About the house that bears so many memories, emotions -- that bears a part of our liferoad -- I tell myself that memories are not rooted in walls nor furnitures, but in our hearts and in our souls : wherever we live, we take them all.

    I hope this can help...
    (And sorry for bad english, I'm a french !)

    Ludivine

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    1. Hi again Jodi
      I just realized that I wrote with my man blogger account, I don't have any myself.
      If you'd like to, you write me at ludivine.verbeke@hotmail.fr
      don't hesitate !

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  14. Wow, how exciting. A little bit scary but mostly exciting. I lived in Sydney until the age of 22 and grew up there along with my four siblings. We lived in the lower North Shore as kids which is a great place to live but not exactly easy for commuting into the city (1 hr drive). My dad did and continues to do the drive every single day including weekends as he works in the theatre world, so it mustn't be TOO bad as they never moved closer. I would highly, highly recommend the inner west as there are some fantastic schools, beautiful parks, great food and fresh groceries, it's a fantastic place for a young family and lots of young families also working in the TV/film industry live there. Leichhardt, Annandale, Dulwich Hill, those sound like good options for you guys!

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  15. Dear Jodi,
    I've always thought of myself as a countryside/village girl - especially for raising small children, but moving out of the city, in Cape Town, albeit beautiful and quiet, turned out to be isolating and i have a strong sense that i'm missing out on city things that i love doing with our children: museums, parks, etc. We will be moving to a our first owned house 20 min away from the city centre and right by the sea, with a wonderful community of friends around, and I'm excited.
    My comment is of a different nature though. For my children, I would choose the option that has them have both their parents available more.. as in, if Dan's work is in town and hence has to travel there often and be away from you guys, I would choose to be in the city, where he would return home after work and be there for you and the kids everyday. Having grown up with a father who worked in a different town, and then a different country, I'm very wary of my children's time with both parents - as that is a real gift!

    good luck with the decision!
    x

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  16. hi Jodi if you are going for a village feel I think you should consider Summer Hill , or around the inner west. Close to the city and full of life and soul and community:)

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  17. Oh poobar! My comment didn't come up :( but the short version: another inner westie here !! It has everything you need and more!! Lots of families, things to do and see, places to go, people, cafes, the light rail with the city and darling harbour and parks/playgrounds along the way!!!! Sure, you won't get a huge backyard but that's offsite by opportunities you wouldn't find in smaller towns. As someone who has moved all the time over my whole life, this is my home and I love it!! There seems to be plenty of support here and lots of possible future connections ....... ;) x

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  18. Okay so at first I was all excited about a city move and I think it's still exciting!!! But now I think about the beach and big open spaces that you may miss... Also, just to play the devils advocate here (& because I am also very indecisive) but paying rent in the city will eat up $$ and could move the dream of buying further away?!? (I don't know, just assuming, sorry if I'm wrong). I understand the difficultly in the decision. Eeek!!

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  19. You're so in tune with yourself, and your whole family Jodi, I know whatever decision you and Daniel will make, will be the right one for all of you. Trust yourself. We are talking about the very same thing at the moment - selling up and moving north to be with my family, for a better way of life for us and for the kids. It's a scary thought, leaving everything you know - when I was at my doctor's yesterday for an annual check up I thought ' I won't see her anymore.. will I find a doctor as wonderful as she is?!!' - of course I will.. but it's all those things we've grown comfortable with that make it the hardest. But I know when we go, it will be scary and sad and happy and wonderful.. and we will land on our feet because we'll be doing it for all the right reasons. I think the big decisions can be the scariest because they hold the biggest rewards if we make the right ones.. xx

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  20. we're so similar, jodi! that is exactly what michael said to me about moving here. i have wanted to go home since the day i arrived…five years ago. getting back to where you come from is complicated especially with work, finances, little people, and just life. i also think about that third baby, and all that comes with it…scout has flipped our world upside down. if we didn't have the backyard and basketball hoop outside for the older boys, i am not sure any of us would have survived this past year. maybe look at it as a stepping stone for a few years until you are in the position as a family to move into that spacious farmland you often speak of. ultimately i do think you will take the leap to the city. i think you will make it a beautiful experience for yourself and your family. i deeply believe it will bring you wonderful opportunities…opportunities that will lead you closer to your final home. i don't believe your anywhere near your final destination. plus, kids are always up for an adventure and as far as the evolution of your own spirit…how can you say no. xx

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    1. oh I do miss your presence in the "blogworld" kristi, especially when you share wise and beautiful insights like these. xx

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  21. I saw the title of your blog post pop up on Facebook this afternoon and had to stop myself from clicking on it incase it was the same post I was half way through writing, or similar, or incase once I read yours I wouldn't be able to write mine. But now I'm here I feel like you know the answer anyway. The time s right beautiful Jodi. xx

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  22. jodi - i'm new to your blog but really enjoy it. having been faced with the same indecision at one point i felt i had to add my 2 cents because it is a big decision and the unknown parts can make you dizzy. we moved from san francisco, ca. out to a very small rural town about 7 years ago. no regrets. our children (a boy and girl) were 4 and 1. they absolutely love it here. children will adapt to change quickly, especially when they're young. if you take their cue you might learn something as i did. the first year i had reservations about where we lived but i knew it was necessary (couldn't afford to buy a house in the city). the move allowed us to buy a house, rent a large studio my husband and i work from and enjoy the proximity of everything a small town comes with. the same can be said for a city too .. cafes, museums, culture all right there. i never thought i would live in this place but then i never thought i'd have chickens, a vast garden, a nice studio .. or feel less isolated than i did in the city. making an "opposite" change has it's rewards, you just have to be open to recognizing them. at the same time your house sounds completely lovely .. i can see wanting to hold on to what you have.

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  23. Hi Jodi - I join the others that don't usually chip in, although count your blog as a favorite. Today is a day for sharing! I too agree that whatever you and Daniel choose for your family, it will be the right decision. Many have mentioned the adaptability of children, but I thought it wise to mention that with the right dose of faith, we adults can be admirably adaptable too! Consider as well the middle ground. It's easy to get attached to the extremes of this scenario - city or county - but I imagine there might be some "best of both worlds" if you seek them out. I regret to add any more confusion to your plate (so take this with a grain of salt), but my husband and I have lived is Los Angeles for the last eight years and with the arrival of our fist born, we are positively itching to "get out". Not necessarily to the farms, but we are craving fresh air and room to stretch our legs. And although it's only a twenty minute drive to the beach, we don't make it there nearly as often as we'd like. At the end of the day however, I am an enormous advocate for change and a believer in the adage "you'll never know until you try". This is when our most profound growth occurs. It's healthy to be scared from time to time! (Que wise quotes about staring at fear in the face...) I also agree with Vanessa Ulia to pursue whichever option facilitates more family time. Remember to respect your emotions; sit with your fears, keep faith in your instincts. And once you've arrived at your decision, don't look back. We're all rooting for you Jodi!!!

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  24. that seems to be a great adventure and energy if you change of place to live, even if there is fear, of course... I must say I dream of that kind of changes too, but on the other hand, I'm so so so afraid of it, because of the children, because of the pleasure I have to live in a peaceful environment... I'm sure many good things will happen for you.

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  25. We moved about three years ago to give the kids a different life and while it was definitely the right choice it does come with compromise. I love (LOVE) our new community but I miss the accessibility of stuff we had in our old location. We made the decision based on what it was that we valued most. For us it was time together and the way to do that was to downsize our house and move further out of the city.

    And now we have made an even bigger change. My partner has left his job of nearly 20 years (which was super secure, paid well blah blah) for we don't know what. For the moment we are travelling but when we return we actually don't know what is next. I'm trying to lean into the uncertainty and remember that it is never as scary once you have leapt. Good luck x

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  26. My husband and I both grew up in rural Alabama, moved to a larger city for college (Birmingham), lived in Albuquerque, New Mexico for two years, and have just recently made the jump you're speaking of by moving to New York City. Neither of us have ever experienced this level of city living, but it's working for us. Like you said, we're finding our 'new good.' We probably lived pretty similar to the way you're living now and we miss it - a lot, but it sounds like you wouldn't be moving into an apartment (the situation we're in), so I don't think you'd have to give up what we miss (an outdoor space to grow things and let the kids run wild in mostly). Moving into the city was one of the best decisions we've ever made. It caused us to simplify to the point where all we have is each other really. We spend more time outside now than we ever did in our backyard. We exercise more. I take my daughter to the playground and library more because it's just a few blocks away. She's exposed to more cultures and festivals here than she would be anywhere else. And your husband is right - you can always move back! Or at least that's what we had to tell ourselves when we left our perfect home in the beautiful Southwest desert. This probably won't be our forever, but it really is lovely for now. No one can make the decision for you, but it really depends on whether you want to experience something new or not. Some people are okay with comfortable and some people aren't. We're definitely adventurers. :)

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  27. Jodi, sometimes the fear of change is heavier than the change itself.

    For me, fear is about my need to control life - it is always about controlling the future or holding onto the past.

    Life is always changing - your children grow, the seasons change and all is well. Your work has always honoured and marvelled at those changes. They are the baby steps to trusting in the flow of the bigger changes.

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  28. We live in the suburbs of Melbourne, and although we rarely travel into the city, it's nice knowing the energy is there. Our little part of the world has all we need, for now. However, given my husband is French, I'm sure there are many travels and changes ahead of us. It scares me, as I'm a creature of habit, but home is where my heart is.

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  29. Dear Jodi, I've been reading your blog for such a long time but don't think I've ever commented. Time to change that. My then boyfriend now husband and I moved from Germany to New Zealand 7 years ago and ended up in Sydney in 2010. The thought of going back to Germany for good, is always on our mind... On one side it pulls be back home, closer to family, back to Europe. But I too fear the change - and I am worried that we might regret it. Leaving everything we've got here behind...

    Anyway, we now live in Manly, Sydney and it is such a beautiful place for a family (we've got two little ones, 3 and 1). The beach is near, the feel is still very community oriented, there are excellent schools around and the city is a 30 minute ferry ride.

    Good luck with your decision making, I know how hard it is.

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  30. I just saw a great documentary-movie 'Gardening for the soul'....it's about a 90 year old nun from New Zealand and how she lives simply but meaningfully - she also talks about change and life evolving . I think it would be up your alley....not at many cinemas but beautiful (I saw it at Leichardt Palace if you're in the city)

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    1. Gardening with soul! http://www.nzfilm.co.nz/film/gardening-with-soul a friend of a friend was the director. I also highly recommend it, I saw it last year and loved it.

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  31. I have always lived in the city, first as a child in Sydney and then as a adult with a family of my own in Brisbane. I love city living but like you I often think of moving. My husband would love to move to the country and I would just be happy to go anywhere to have a new experience. However, we are both too scared to make the move. Fear is keeping us from our dream life, which is pretty silly really.

    Our children now have friends and after school activities and relationships with their grandparents who are not getting any younger and interests of their own and we have both realised that maybe it wouldn't be fair to move at this stage in their lives. I know plenty of families move with kids who are at school and those kids just have to get on with it, leave behind old friends and start the process of making new friends - even I was one of those kids - but for some reason it feels to us like we would be moving for us rather than for them. We feel like we have left it too late and for now this part of our lives feels like it is meant to be spent in one place until they are ready to move on.

    I guess what I am trying to say is that I am you in a few years time and from my perspective I wish I had made the move back then when it felt right even though it felt completely frightening because now it doesn't feel right anymore. My advice is to just go for it, do it now and as Daniel has said you can always move back if it doesn't work out.

    Good luck with the decision making process.
    x

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  32. I hear you on fear and home-ownership. And fear of home-ownership!

    Comfort is sometimes the worst thing for us.

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  33. Hi Jodi,

    I grew up in a small coastal town and if you told me that I would be raising a family in the Inner West of Sydney I would have laughed! But here we are living in the most diverse, lively, cultural playground. It really is an amazing place, so much opportunity and adventure. I found blogging about it really inspires me to live in the moment and be grateful for the opportunity to live in such an amazing city (even when some days it doesn't feel like it) xx

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  34. Summer Hill has a gorgeous village feel to it, & it's in the train too so you can get into the city easily. Or there's always Bondi with it's beach & abundant health food stores. Come! Kellie xx

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  35. We are in Sydney (eastern suburbs) with two kids and as much as I love the beach, the community and all of our ctivities here I wouldnt recomend it!! I dream of back gardens, and reasonable housing prices. Even if we move out to Randwick the starting price for a 2bedroom semi is 950.000... Rent, food and kids activities eat up our salaries. My hubby makes a great living and we still struggle...only in Sydney can you do that!

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  36. Oh and also..the train commute from where you are is what? 1 1/2?? On a "good" day the commute from bondi to fox studios can be an hour!!

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  37. always a hard decision!!.... we lived in Dulwich Hill/Marrickville for years and had 2 of our 3 there... the community is great and I rarely used the car as walking to shops, parks, friends, pre-school was so easy....! I LOVED it and think it was a great life as a family. For a bunch of reasons we moved to the country and for a whole set of different reasons I love it for us as a family!... As far as recommendations for sydney suburbs go... dulwich and marrickville are fantastic! x

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  38. On a whim, we decided last year to move across country. We are still not settled, as it took almost a year for our house to sell. Every day I wanted to turn back that decision and stay in the home and the city I had lived for my entire life. It's the only home my boys knew and I was terrified to take that away from them, from all of us. But the pull to do something different for once, was greater than the fear. That's how I knew it would be okay. I thought the same thing..."we'll just move back if we want," Knowing that was always an option kept me moving forward.
    It's hard...only because you don't know what will be in the future. Life changes constantly and I now know that it's the fear that needs to be conquered...not changing. If things are meant to be, they will be. A move may be wonderful for all of you. xo

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  39. What I would say is to make a decision before Che is at school too much longer. We have wanted/needed to move for more space but have lived here since our now nearly 11 year old was 1. She's been to kinder in the next block, we are so connected to so many friends around here that it's like family. We could afford more further out, spend less get more but I can't face the idea of leaving - so instead we'll try and renovate UP. If we were ever going to move, we should have done it when the girls were younger. I know myself, I'm a worrier - I wish I was spontaneous and carefree but I'm a homebody, my roots are firmly in the ground here. Perhaps you're braver!

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  40. My husband, small person and myself moved from adelaide to Auckland and back in a year last year. We moved expecting it to be permanent but for us it was financially a terrible move. My advice is that places are very different when visiting versus living and do very careful financial reckoning first - what you can really afford to rent without stress, childcare costs and groceries etc, the city may be lovely but if you are having to count every cent and restrict life to make ends means it's not so much fun. Due diligence as well as gut reactions. Best wishes in the decision

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  41. :) I relate very much to your feelings in this post Jodi. Part of the road trip I am on with my family is to find our northern home. Like you I am in a very happy cocoon in our southern home, the children are happy and the thought of starting from the beginning in a new place left me feeling exhausted. That is until I decided to change my mind and switch from feeling anxiety and overwhelm to feeling excited by the possibilities, to step fully into the adventure and reframe the what ifs into positives. What if Che and Poet's best friends for life are waiting in Sydney? What if moving to Sydney opens up your career in ways you hadn't imagined? For me it was actually as simple as deciding to change my mind (& old habit). And now that we are on the road, out of our cocoon I can tell you I've learned that wherever your family is is home, cliche as that may sound. I can definitely see you drinking chai with Kellie in Bondi and the children playing! All that said, I agree with Andrea's comment that moving to the city changes things financially, if you can make that work and not use up those hard earned savings then go for it. Good luck with your decision making! Xx

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  42. Move! Living in the city with kids means you can be in walking distance of lovely parks, farmers markets and different places to have coffee every day.

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  43. I say this to my students - be brave enough to be wrong. x

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  44. I relate so very much to this. This is the biggest thing I am struggling with. We have a beautiful little house, with a wonderful little community around us yet we will outgrow it soon and may need to move to a location with better schools. These are challenging decisions. I crave roots and tradition. Family and friends. Everything I did not have growing up. How hard these decision are to make. I'm sure one day we will all take a leap of faith and just fly... but it's the fear of falling that keeps us here. Hopefully, sunshine will be part of the equation!

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  45. Having moved from a sleepy seaside village to the bright lights of Melbourne only five months ago, I'm inclined to tell you to go. I have loved every single minute here. The quick trip to the museum on a Tuesday morning, zoos at the ready, so many beautiful languages spoken all around us, in the parks, the supermarkets... so many beautiful, different faces. So many delicious cuisines, so much history, so much fun and beauty. I wrote a post soon after I moved here that I feel as though I live slower now, despite the fast-paced city. I feel at home and at ease here. Everything dear to me is closer, all the things that are important to me are easier to get. When people see the beautiful winter sunshine where I lived and know that I went to a much colder climate, they ask me why. And it's hard to give a snappy answer to that. But it's something along the lines of never having gone because we were comfortable. I would regret never going because we were afraid. Home is where you make it, and I've no doubt you would make a lovely one no matter where you are.

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